"I'm done, I've had enough' - heart breaking text 'abused' Yorkshire mum sent to friend before she took her own life

A mum who took her own life had suffered many years of domestic abuse from when she was a teenager.

Kirsten, 33, who was known for her caring nature and being 'big hearted', died as a result of suicide in Sheffield, "having reached a point where she felt she could no longer go on," according to a report into her tragic death.

Two months before she died in October 2021, Kirsten had taken an overdose and texted a friend, saying: "I'm done, I've had enough, I'm so sorry, love you."

She and her violent partner had previously had three children who had been removed from them and adopted. She had missed her children who were no longer living with her at the time of her death, according to domestic homicide review.

The review has been published by Safer Sheffield Partnership, with pseudonyms used to protect identities. It said Kirsten had suffered the effects of years of domestic abuse and violence at the hands of her boyfriend, Jake, who was violent and a user of Spice. The couple had lived at various places in the UK before moving to a deprived area in Sheffield.

Kirsten had previously suffered injuries to her neck which may have been evidence of non-fatal strangulation. Neighbours had phoned police on several occasions about noisy arguments, female screams' and a persistent smell of cannabis.

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The review has concluded that Kirsten was 'entrapped' in an abusive long-term relationship with Jake, 40, and, although she was offered support by services in Sheffield, none of them had an understanding about this being a controlling relationship.

The report revealed that Jake had been jailed for assaulting Kirsten and given a three-year restraining order but, when he was released from prison, was allowed to stay at a property on the same street as her.

He had breached the order within a day and was given a suspended sentence.

"The legal sanction was ineffectual and coincided with Jake’s mental health deteriorating without effective support. It is an example of where the action was not consistent or coordinated," the report said.

Report author Peter Maddocks added: "Unless professionals can develop an awareness and understanding of coercive control, they will be incapable of understanding the true dynamics of a relationship with a perpetrator of abuse and will make very risky and uninformed judgements such as permitting Jake to live on the same road as Kirsten after his release from prison and sentencing."

He added: "The lesson from this (review) has to be how entrapment is recognised and addressed more effectively in the future through more consistent and coordinated action across services."

The author said that Kirsten's earlier overdose, in August 2021, two months before her fatal overdose, "was not understood or assessed as a planned attempt on her life within the context of Kirsten’s experience of domestic abuse."

The report includes a number of 'lessons learned' as well as recommendations for various organisations including police, probation, ambulance service, and domestic abuse workers.

An inquest into Kirsten's death concluded that she had taken her own life.

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