Insulting wedding invitation sparks outrage on social media: 'Please understand...'

Alex Lasker
·4-min read

A bride- and groom-to-be are under fire on social media after a photo of instructions included in their wedding invitation went viral.

A photo of the note, which was shared on Twitter on July 23 by Mary von Aue, reveals the unusual method of RSVPing to the celebration laid out by the couple.

According to the letter, guests in group A are asked to RSVP “as soon as possible” through the bride and groom’s wedding website. Invitees in groups B and C are asked to wait for seats to free up on a rolling basis, should any guests in group A decline the invitation.

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“Please understand that our venue is limited in the number of guests we will be able to accommodate for our wedding day,” the note reads. “As much as we would love to have each and every one of you join us on our big day, we are forced to split our guests into groups to ensure we do not surpass our capacity restrictions.”

“If possible, we encourage guests to hire a babysitter for the night and leave your children at home,” it adds. “As much as we love your kids, we are doing our best to make space for all of the guests we can. We also ask for our single guests to forgo their plus one if possible.”

Twitter users quickly took the unusual request to task, noting how atypical the proposed solution was, even amid a pandemic.

“My fav part is ‘please keep a close eye on our website for availability,'” one user wrote. “Like you’re that special that someone is checking your site constantly! & If I was group B or C I’d just send this response, ‘I opt out of this & all future correspondence. Thanks!'”

“Hilarious that it seems like groups B & C are identical, but to be C is just slightly more degrading,” said another.

“I need to know how this couple is faring right now that people have obviously begun opening these,” pondered reporter Sara Boboltz.

Others launched straight into some wild theories about the process.

“What if everyone is group A, and they are making everyone seem important to them/ feel like they have to get a better gift?” questioned one user. “It begs the question if you go do you ask what group someone is? What is the etiquette?”

“If you’ve already attended 60 weddings this year do you automatically get upgraded to the A-list?” joked another. “Can you pay $12.99 for priority attendance? Will there be center seats at this wedding? How many bags can you bring?”

Here’s a little wedding insider tip — most large weddings have A-lists and B-lists of invitees, but the status of each guest is unbeknownst to them (for obvious reasons.)

This is how it works, as explained by the Knot: Your A-list consists of the must-have invites that you couldn’t imagine not having at your wedding. These are the people who receive your first round of invitations. Your B-list is made up of guests you still really want to be there, but not as direly. Once you start getting RSVPs and it turns out you have enough “regrets” and can invite more people without increasing your budget, that’s when you start sending invites to your B-list.

The Knot stresses not to send out B-list invites too close to the actual date of the wedding (say, a week beforehand), or “you might as well tell those guests they’re second best.”

If you liked this article, read In The Know’s advice to a mother who couldn’t safely attend her daughter’s wedding.

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