Passengers at the west London airport have complained of long queues as it struggles to deal with a surge of customers over Easter.
The 61-year-old TV presenter braced himself for travel chaos as he prepared to travel to Spain to watch a Champions League match between Chelsea and Real Madrid.
But he was shocked to find the terminal “full of nothing but tumbleweed”.
Clarkson wrote in The Sun: “Fearful that Heathrow would be more chaotic than a Ukrainian refugee centre on the Polish border, I set my alarm for crikey o’clock, even though I knew I’d have a post-birthday hangover. Which turned out to be the case.
“So, with a terrible headache and a tremendous sense of self loathing, I arrived three hours before my flight was scheduled to depart, only to find that the terminal was full of nothing but tumbleweed.
“I’ve been to busier libraries. I therefore had time to order a bacon sandwich which I hoped would mop up some of the sick in my stomach. It didn’t.”
However, Clarkson said he had to endure mammoth queues during passport checks after landing in Madrid.
Travellers using Birmingham, Heathrow and Manchester airports have reported long queues.
There has been a surge in demand for trips abroad since the government eased Covid restrictions in March.
However, airlines have struggled to deal with the influx of customers due to Covid-related staff absences.
Both airlines and airports report struggling to find new recruits and getting their security checks processed in a timely fashion.