Joe Hart's tattoos steal the show as 7 English pundits turn on masterclass in stating the obvious - Euro 2024 TV watch

The BBC had the pleasure of bringing us England's first Euro 2024 match against Serbia.

Rio Ferdinand, Cesc Fabregas, Micah Richards and Gary Lineker sat in the setting sunlight of the day. Micah, who must have been knocked down off the ceiling with a brush before the broadcast, he’s so prone to laughing hysterically and getting carried away. Indeed, no-one has based a punditry career on laughing so successfully. Lineker is at ease and relaxed in his role of presenter, chatting in a relaxed manner, always in control and with time on the ball. You wouldn’t think he’s a socialist firebrand.

There’s a moving piece about the terminally ill Sven, in charge last time England were in Gelsenkirchen in 2006. Rio says he was a nice man to play for. It was a sad moment, sensitively handled. An interview package with Southgate reveals him to have always been a decent, emotionally intelligent bloke. Rio says a lot of obvious things, and that seems to be what has been asked for. Fabregas, presumably brought in for some continental sophistication, follows with more obvious comments, albeit in a Spanish accent. There’s nothing anyone didn’t know before or any special insight, despite them saying everything like it’s the wisdom of Solomon.

Then there’s the familiar sight of Alan Shearer, headphones on in the ground, the narrowed eyes of the gunfighter, a footballing Lee van Cleef, giving us his opinion that England need to cut out crosses. Thanks. For. That.

Joe Hart is quite impressively articulate pitchside in a pair of cream knee-length shorts, which are a hostage to fortune, with tattoos of hoops (possibly a nod to Celtic) on his arm. He is on hand to reassure us Jordan Pickford is human. That’s a relief.

Guy Mowbray’s familiar Yorkshire burr is our commentator with Shearer riding shotgun who sounds like he’s having a good time. Beats working for a living, I suppose. Serbia looks like a prison eleven, average height 6’2”. England dominated the first half and went in one up.

Gary and the boys have moved to a space in front of the Brandenburg gate which looks very dramatic and takes the mind off the pundits talking. The annoying thing is that they are ex pros but don’t say anything that anyone who is paying attention wouldn’t say, often pointing out things that are totally obvious, as though nobody else could have such insight.

Lineker is actually the best at this game, especially talking about Kane’s lack of involvement. Joe Hart’s unfeasibly long neck returns pitchside with the traditional aversion to adverbs. If everyone went to the toilet, they didn’t miss much. Rio tells us ‘concentration is vital at this stage’. You don’t say. Pffft.

England seem to try and defend a one goal lead, with defence being their weakest quality. Shearer doesn’t appear to notice this. Proper criticism of England is rarely properly voiced. Foden is a shadow of his league self and should have been subbed. After a tough second half Lineker returned still sounding positive, the three pundits said some more obvious things, which were obvious like 'we've got to hold the ball better'.

Fabregas spoke some guff about England having the talent but not 'stepping up' but the truth is, they're not as good as painted by a biased English media and the foreign players at their club make them look good. There was just time to say some more obvious words and that was it. Money for nothing.