Judy Murray on how sexism labelled her a pushy mum: 'I find myself almost apologising for being competitive'

Not long after Andy Murray made his debut at Wimbledon in 2005, his mum Judy got a reputation for being a pushy mum, a title that is often seen as the worst insult you can give any parent.

While Judy herself admits to being ambitious and competitive, she spoke on White Wine Question Time about how she felt about the tag.

The Scot, who is often pictured with clenched fists as she cheered on her sons in their tournaments, believes the narrative was twisted to suit the media when Andy played.

“I found myself at that first Wimbledon really being picked out,” she told podcast host Kate Thornton.

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“I think partly because we were all new – the family – and at something like Wimbledon, where there are no ad breaks and the commentators and the camera man look for somewhere to go and they find you in the player books in a way that if my kids had played cricket or rugby or football, they would never have found me.

“What I discovered was that the papers – and also sometimes the TV cameras - the pictures that they're showing on the highlights reels are always me pumping my fist or bearing my teeth and they made me look aggressive and Uber competitive and from that moment, I was the pushy mum. I was overbearing. I was too competitive.”

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It's a tag she believes she would never have got if she was male.

She told Thornton: “I always reckon if I had been a dad, I wouldn't have been picked out the same way. I would probably have been applauded for being the competitive dad.”

Being competitive is something the coach, who was given an OBE in 2017 for her services to tennis, women in sport, and charity, feels no need to apologise about; after al,l the main thrust of sport is competition.

“I have always loved sports – and sports is competitive and I am competitive!” she stated.

“I enjoy being competitive. I find myself almost apologising for being competitive and what's wrong with being ambitious? Why shouldn't we be ambitious within sport?”

Murray, who appeared on Strictly Come Dancing in 2014, said that individual sports like tennis actually rely on ‘pushy’ parents to get children to a certain level – and she’s proud of the part she’s played in both of her sons’ tennis careers.

Watch: Judy Murray confesses Sean Connery distracted her when she watched Andy at his first Wimbledon!

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“In an individual sport like tennis, the onus is very much on the parent to make everything happen,” she explained.

“If my kids had gone into a team sport, the club would have been responsible for kits and training and fixtures and travel and all the rest of it. In an individual sport, the parent has to make the whole thing happen.

“When they get to an excellent level like that, you're responsible for your own business. When they're young and they needed to concentrate on what they were doing on the court and in the gym, I was taking care of all the logistics and the personnel and the budgets and the sponsors and making everything happen.”

While she said being labelled a pushy mum was a “rude awakening” for her, she says she’s had to fight against stereotypes held of women, especially when she’s standing up for herself.

“It doesn't matter what minority you are, then you're always having to fight to justify yourself,” she said.

“And as a woman, I have often found that the women who do stand up for themselves and use their voices and are not afraid to keep coming back, but you get branded as emotional, irrational, difficult demanding, and you're not! You're standing out for what you believe in.”

Murray is hoping her new Sky Sports documentary, Driving Force, will help with the ongoing fight for equality in sport. In the show, Murray chats to various sportswomen about their achievements and the difficulties they’ve had getting to the top.

Read more: Judy Murray on her rags to riches story: Andy and Jamie had 'no money' as kids

“I think that by raising the awareness of the great things that all these female sports women achieved, we will also raise a lot of talking points around the issues and challenges that still exist for women in sport,” she told Thornton.

“And by raising talking points, hopefully we will get some action and create change for the next generation.”

Hear Judy Murray talk about why her family rarely spend Christmas together on the latest episode of White Wine Question Time. Listen now on iTunes and Spotify.

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