We all know why we’re here. In today’s world, when to some people caring, empathy and a will to do good things is the new selfish, we’re helping to raise millions for needy people around the globe.
To do so, we’re going to be entertained, laugh, possibly cry (with laughter) and probably cry (those stories) and come to realise that actually, the vast majority of us are Good People.
The entertainment bit …
Mel and Sue are back together on hosting duties. We haven’t forgotten you, Sue, since you got “binned off that cake show”. *lovehearts and chuckle smilies*
Jo Brand, Frank Skinner and Katherine Ryan make up the panel, on hand with encouragement, backhanded compliments and pithy one liners as celebrities up for showing hidden talents (or not) embarrass themselves on purpose live on television.
TV and radio presenter Matt Edmondson was Nicki Minaj, showing off impressive rap skills in an inflatable and/or stuffed suit. Singing Superbass, the sexy teletubby (his words) led Jo to cheer: “I’ve been looking for a very long time for someone whose bum has dropped as far down as mine” while Frank stated: “I remember Nicki Minaj when he was leader of Ukip.”
Ab Fab’s Harriet Thorpe and Helen Lederer became Agnetha and Frida from Abba for Dancing Queen, with Harriet demonstrating supreme subtleness with splits on the panel’s desk as a finale, which Frank was still recovering from when due to speak. Katherine told them they were the women she wanted to be, while Jo cheered again, this time for HRT.
KissFM’s Rickie and Melvin tore it up with a Will Smith medley, putting the fun in funky. Jo – having hinted at the top of the show that she’d like to take some talent home – decided the honour went to these two. Frank said “This is what Jedward hoped they’d become.”
Russell Grant was Diana Ross for Chain Reaction, although Frank needed convincing: “I thought it was Lesley Joseph! Still, you’ve doubled the output of the British chiffon industry. Roadkill with rhythm.”
Comic Sara Pascoe showed off a decent voice as Sia for Chandelier, although the exertion took its toll by the end, leading Jo to proclaim she was a cross between Kate Bush and a disturbed Alice in Wonderland.
Out of the public’s top 3, it was Rickie and Melvin straight through to the final, while Sara was the panel’s choice, with Matt in third.
The point of it all bit …
Ed Sheeran meets a brave little girl called Peaches in Liberia, where over 11,000 people have been lost to the Ebola virus. Having not been to school since her father died, she sings to remember him, a song he taught her. Just £45 will send her to school for a year.
Emeli Sande met 10 year old Sowede, forced to sleep on the streets of Uganda. Collecting plastic bottles, he sells them (for the equivalent of 8p) to buy food. At nightfall he searches for a cardboard bed. Supported by Comic Relief, he’s back home and in education. It costs just £10 per term.
To donate £5, text GIVE to 70205. To donate £10, text GIVE 70210. Maybe swap the Vanilla Spiced Chai Latte for a cup of Builder’s Best Tea for the next week?
The proper musical bits …
The aforesaid Emeli Sande pulling the heartstrings as she does so wonderfully, with the rather handsome Callum Scott performing a jolly little song called Rhythm Inside.
The one-that-would’ve-won-it-so-they-didn’t-let-them-play bit …
Catherine Tate’s Nan gatecrashing Len Goodman’s sedate tea dance with ‘Holding Out for a Hero’. Len got shoved aside, as Nan took to the stage with her heroes before they were claimed back by Bonnie Tyler. But she pulls a motorbike riding Richard E. Grant outside: “We’ll do our own bit of Dirty Dancing” he purrs.
“You get me ‘ome for Pointless, son, you can do what you like.”
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