Lil Nas X has come out as a power bottom and told his fans about the challenges facing queer men who enjoy anal stimulation.
The “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” singer dished the details on his sexual position on Twitter amid fierce homophobic backlash over his on-stage kiss at the BET Awards.
“Since y’all still doing all this over a kiss imma just f**k the n***a on stage next time,” Lil Nas X tweeted.
Gay rapper Kevin Abstract replied to his tweet, repeating the question fans have been asking ever since he burst onto the scene with “Old Town Road”: “Are you a top or a bottom?”
Lil Nas simply replied: “Power bottom,” before expanding on exactly what that means.
Taking his lead from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s “We should all be feminists” essay, he wrote: “We teach our bottoms to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to bottoms, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the top.”
Needless to say, Lil Nas X fans were thrilled by his power bottom pride.
Lil Nas X is also winning praise from sex workers and experts for speaking candidly about power bottoming.
Gemma Glitter, a Canada-based dominatrix, told PinkNews that the singer is “blowing open mainstream conversations of sexuality” by discussing topics often confined to sex clubs, bathhouses and anonymous Twitter accounts.
“He’s changing what ‘open’ conversations about sexuality can look like – the same way that being able to talk about queer attraction did,” Glitter explained.
“Every time we haul these conversations into the mainstream, a segment of society gets to come out of the shadows and stop being ashamed of who they are and what they enjoy.
“People might know what they want but they won’t be able to talk about it without the words – someone like Lil Nas X using the term ‘power bottom’ means that there are absolutely people out there who just discovered the word for what they like – and that’s huge.
“Representation matters, and all we need is one queer Black man who talks about power bottoming for a generation of people to feel seen, and for a whole culture shift in discussion to follow.”
What is a power bottom, and how is it different to regular bottoming?
In queer sex, the “bottom” is generally the receptive person – however, dynamics can differ significantly depending on the relationship or the setting.
According to Glitter: “Power bottoming is when someone who generally takes a receptive position – whether that be penetration, pain, or discipline – takes more agency in the situation. Power bottoming is when the bottom takes control in some ways.”
Lil Nas X opening up about being a power bottom is important because of the enduring stigma bottoms face, Glitter said.
“The reality is that there are no tops without bottoms – all us tops aren’t f**king ourselves. This idea that someone who is a bottom should just lay there and take it is rooted in misogyny – traditionally women are expected to bottom in heterosexual relationships, and they are expected to just be the vehicles for their partners’ pleasure.
“That has carried over into how we talk about bottoms and how they are expected to act – meek, compliant, and grateful for the attention, without any of their own desires.”
Glitter continued: “The more we talk about the variety of sex that’s possible, the more information people have – and that leads to better, safer, more fun sex for everyone.”
This is not the first time Lil Nas X has been interrogated on his sexual position – in April, the singer criticised fans for asking whether he prefers to top or bottom.
He joked that he’s not “a bunk bed kinda guy”, before telling fans that the “top and bottom s**t” in the gay community has become “a huge form of misogyny”.
“It’s like how you n****s misogynists? You’re all gay, you’re f****ts. We’re all f****ts.”