Lil Nas X pens powerful letter to his 14-year-old self: ‘I know we promised to die with the secret’

Lily Wakefield
·2-min read

Lil Nas X has dropped the unapologetically queer music video for his new song “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)”, accompanied by a heart-wrenching letter to his 14-year-old self.

Lil Nas X’s new music video is set in the fantastical world of Montero – a reference to his real name Montero Lamar Hill – where everyone can be their true self.

The video opens with a voiceover by the Grammy Award-winning artist, in which he says: ‘In life, we hide the parts of ourselves we don’t want the world to see. We lock them away, we tell them ‘no’, we banish them. But here, we don’t. Welcome to Montero.”

Although the video is unapologetically queer and outrageous, featuring bizarre alter-egos inspired by religion and mythology and even a lap dance for Satan, it also has a deeper meaning.

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On the day of the video’s release, Lil Nas X also shared a letter addressed to his 14-year-old self.

He wrote: “Dear 14-year-old Montero, I wrote a song with our name in it. It’s about a guy I met last summer.

“I know we promised to never come out publicly, I know we promised to never be ‘that’ type of gay person, I know we promised to die with the secret, but this will open doors for many other queer people to simply exist.

“You see this is very scary for me, people will be angry, they will say I’m pushing an agenda.

“But the truth is, I am. The agenda to make people stay the fuck out of other people’s lives and stop dictating who they should be.

“Sending you love from the future. – LNX.”

The letter brought fans to tears, with one writing: “Throughout the years I’ve seen people come out and be like, ‘Yeah I’m gay but I don’t wanna be a civil rights leader or something’, so for someone to be like YUP, I WILL and WANT to be the voice for my people is huge.”

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Another wrote: “Being openly LGBT+ gets a bad rep at times but in the turmoil of society today, it means a lot to other young kids who were in your position.

“I’ve been openly FTM since I was hella young but it definitely gets hard. Little you would be happy where you’ve made it.”

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Actor Jackée Harry added: “You’re doing lil Montero (and the world) proud.”