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Londoner's Diary: Monsieur Mwah is France’s new man in London

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Getty Images

BONJOUR, Jean-Pierre Jouyet. The new French Ambassador, pictured, pulled up his chair at his Knightsbridge desk earlier this month, replacing the much-loved Sylvie Bermann, and The Londoner was keen to hear the goss.

“He is an interesting character,” our French Deep Throat told us (let’s call our source Emmanuelle). “He is a true example of the French political establishment. He’s a top civil servant. He was minister for Europe under Nicolas Sarkozy and chief of staff at the Elysée under François Hollande. He knows everyone there is to know in France and Europe, so he’s a real heavyweight.”

Certainly not underqualified then, but there is also a faint whiff of intrigue about the appointment. “Sylvie Bermann was an outstanding ambassador. She had two years left to run on her posting and had asked to stay because of Brexit,” Emman-uelle told us. French diplomatic postings are usually for three years, which she had served.Jouyet is keen. “He has always been a mentor to Emmanuel Macron, and said he’d like to have London. Not for any Anglophile sympathies, but because his wife (the champagne heiress Brigitte Taittinger) is a big socialite.

Apparently the first Bermann heard about it was when she read it in Le Monde.” She didn’t seem overly excited at the prospect of a Moscow winter when The Londoner wished her farewell in August. A spokesperson at the French Embassy said: “His vast experience in European affairs makes him an obvious choice to represent France in the context of Brexit.”

So should Londoners be en garde? Our secret source says: “The only thing the British might not like is that he is very continental. He touches people, he kisses people in a Mediterranean way. Some Brits on the diplomatic scene might not enjoy that.”

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AT A gathering at the Labour Party conference MP Clive Lewis agreed with an audience member when they suggested the public choose the BBC director-general rather than the trustees. “An elected director-general is accountable to some degree.” Lewis said. Political book of the year winner Rob Ford wondered in response: “What could possibly go wrong? Say, early front D-G runners Nigel Farage, Boris Johnson and Jeremy Clarkson?”

Baby bouncer: tot denied #Lab17 entry

IT’S good to see Labour treating all humans as equal. At yesterday’s conference a woman tried to introduce the next generation to the party — only to be told she hadn’t filled in all the paperwork. “I’ve just seen a mum with a baby in a pram be refused entry to #lab17 because the baby didn’t have a conference pass,” notes BuzzFeed’s Jamie Ross. Considering the fee to go to the conference, held in Brighton this year, is about £30 a pop, this seemed steep for a little one whose only opinions so far are gurgles. The baby was eventually given an under-14 pass.

Hats off to the FT’s Henry Mance, who explained Labour’s door policy on Twitter: “No gate-crèchers.”

Quote of the day

A man with class: Joe Lockhart (Photo credit should read PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images) (AFP/Getty Images)
A man with class: Joe Lockhart (Photo credit should read PAUL J. RICHARDS/AFP/Getty Images) (AFP/Getty Images)

‘Everyone should know, including the President, that this is what real locker room talk is’

NFL spokesman Joe Lockhart says his players’ private conversations are a cut above Donald Trump’s

The claws are out for some crabby Swedes​

Swedish dinner parties are so full of life: Director Jonas Akerlund, Actress Alicia Vikander and Dancer Eric Underwood get ready to chow down (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for CDLP)
Swedish dinner parties are so full of life: Director Jonas Akerlund, Actress Alicia Vikander and Dancer Eric Underwood get ready to chow down (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for CDLP)

SWEDISH underwear parties don’t get better than this. Gun-toting Tomb Raider star Alicia Vikander showed she is equally adept with a mallet as she crushed crustaceans at designer smalls brand CDLP’s first birthday crayfish dinner. Besides underpants, the event was a celebration of all things Swedish as guests washed down seafood with shots of schnapps. Vikander was joined at Mark’s Club by ballet dancer Eric Underwood and fellow Swede, model Caroline Winberg — but there was no sign of her boyfriend Michael Fassbender. He obviously didn’t get the Malmö.

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THE revamp of Vogue continues. Yesterday it was announced that Vanessa Kingori has become the new publishing director of the British edition. “Welcome to the team,” editor Edward Enninful posted on Instagram this morning. Good work from Vogue, which had been accused of being “too pale and stale” after their editorial staff photo went viral. Kingori has been a rising star for a while. She was the youngest ever publisher of British GQ and also the first black person in the role.

Howard shuns Tory parties

CONSERVATIVE parties are not what they used to be, according to former party leader Michael Howard, pictured. He is shunning the Tory party conference this year as “I haven’t been to it for years,” he told The Londoner at Simon Jenkins’s Britain’s Best 100 Railway Stations book launch, held at the London Transport Museum last night. “I’m out of it now — I’ve done my time.” An interesting choice of words from Lord Howard, whose mantra was once “prison works”.

“I do support the party in other ways,” he said. Lord Howard laments that the after-parties at conference are not as good as when he reigned supreme. “There used to be great parties but I’m told they aren’t what they used to be. They used to be very good in my day — the Alexander Hesketh champagne party was the best: people guarded their ticket and quite a few people gatecrashed, but then he defected to Ukip.”

Lord Howard will occupy his time away from conference by going on safari to Kenya — let’s hope he avoids the big beasts.

Tweet of the Day:

“Stat of the conference for me — 85 per cent of all high court judges EVER come from only six schools.” Labour candidate

Labour candidate for Maidstone and the Weald, Allen Simpson, notes a certain disparity.

Oktoberfest kit of the day: The Times reports that the late Duke of Windsor’s lederhosen are up for auction. The lucky buyer will be able to get royally leathered.

Amber’s a cut above

Amber’s a cut above Austin-born actress Amber Heard gets busy posing with her chainsaw on a video on Instagram today. The actress is currently in Australia filming actionpacked movie Aquaman, where she plays a fiery sea queen Mera.

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