The Londoner: Author's one-star review for Corbyn

A “flat” Jeremy Corbyn was outshone by Yanis Varoufakis at the Edinburgh International Book Festival last night, according to members of the audience. Varoufakis, the former Greek finance minister and leather-jacketed poster boy of the European Left, was interviewing the Labour leader for a sold-out event on “the resurgence of socialism”.

“I want to live in communism, and the ideal communism is Star Trek,” said Varoufakis. He went on to say that a future with automation could give us time for philosophical discussions and exploring the universe, but that on its current track the future would be more like The Matrix.

Watching in the audience at the Baillie Gifford Theatre was William Sutcliffe, Leftist author of Are You Experienced? and an Edinburgh resident. He found Corbyn less than impressive.

“I’ve always felt Corbyn is maligned by the mainstream media, so I went to this to hear him speak in a non-confrontational setting,” he said afterwards. “What I learned is that he is flat, uninspiring, repetitive, dreary, inarticulate and vague. Bitterly disappointing and enraging.”

On stage, though, Varoufakis was generous with Corbyn. He said that the binary referendum debate was disturbed by Labour’s nuanced “remain and reform” stance, asking Corbyn: “How do you feel being accused of being sophisticated?”

“It’s a low blow,” Corbyn replied to much laughter, “but I can cope. I hadn’t heard I was being sophisticated, but I’ll reflect on that.” Sutcliffe said: “He claimed to be anti-Brexit, but I got the feeling he would have said the opposite if the event had been in Sunderland.”

Sutcliffe, however, did like Varoufakis: “He was great — charismatic, warm and engaging. It was like watching a loving dad toss balls very gently to a toddler who dropped every single one.”

He continued of Corbyn: “I honestly don’t know why so much effort and ingenuity has gone into smearing him when the best way to make the guy look bad is just to hand him a microphone.”

The First Minister’s seasonal greetings

Nicola Sturgeon, Scotland’s First Minister, is clearly a big fan of award-winning author Ali Smith. Describing her no less than three times as “Scotland’s greatest living novelist” in a Q&A at Edinburgh International Book Festival last night, Sturgeon commented that she is enjoying Smith’s recent “seasons” quartet of novels. Smith is rattling them out. Autumn and Winter have addressed Brexit and Trump. “I pre-ordered Spring the other day,” Sturgeon said. “Ali told me earlier she hasn’t actually started writing it yet.” No pressure, Ali.

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We knew that Edward Enninful was close to his boss, Jonathan Newhouse, chairman of Condé Nast International, and his wife, Ronnie Cooke, but just how close? The Vogue editor calls the Newhouses “Mummy and Daddy”. The couple are equally affectionate. “We love you,” they commented on his Times Magazine cover. Ronnie added: “My brother.” That’s one complicated family tree.

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Sean Connery was the best Bond, but could the Scottish actor have mastered another big role? Glasgow councillor Mhairi Hunter recalled her father’s attempt to persuade Connery “to make a film about Robert the Bruce”. She relates: “Connery simply replied, ‘F**k off’.”

Sorcha’s clique at Curzon screening

Sorcha Groundsell, the Scottish star of BBC drama Clique, was at a preview of her new gig last night, The Innocents.

The coming-of-age drama from Netflix follows a teenage couple who run away from their sleepy Yorkshire village. Groundsell’s character — June McDaniel — learns that she is a shape-shifter on her 16th birthday.

Groundsell was joined by cast members Percelle Ascott and Australian actor Guy Pearce, who started out on Neighbours before swapping Ramsay Street for Hollywood in films such as LA Confidential and Memento.

But Pearce remains close with former co-star Kylie Minogue; he, along with comedians Alan Carr and Graham Norton, attended the singer’s 50th birthday at Chiltern Firehouse in May.

Hania Elkington, the writer behind the series, was also among the attendees at the Curzon cinema in Mayfair.

SW1A

Michael Fabricant MP has released an educational video series on YouTube telling people “a little bit more about Parliament”. In the first film Fabricant explains “whipping” by enthusiastically beating another man’s buttocks with a shoe horn, before adding: “That’s not allowed any more.”

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Matthew Parris remembers Sir Peter Tapsell, the Tory MP who died last weekend: “He didn’t think he’d ever made a Commons speech without a couple of glasses of red wine, and wondered whether it was possible,” Parris tells us. “He also told me he could not reverse his car without a glass of red wine, which helped him turn his neck.” Tapsell, Parris adds, was not a heavy drinker.

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A clarification from Dawn Butler MP, who accused chef Jamie Oliver of cultural appropriation. “I didn’t attack his chicken,” she tweeted last night. Crucially, she attacked his rice.

Quote of the day

‘Study hard, Mr President, and I might one day say the same about you’

JK Rowling teases Donald Trump, who praised a border patrol agent for speaking “perfect English”

But heaven knows he’s healthier now

Former Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr says he’s swapped rock ’n’ roll for wellness.

“The way I used to take drugs is like the way I’m on running and drinking water and ch’i,” he tells Soho Radio. “It gives me more juice, makes me more on it and makes my lyrics better and me sing better.”

“It’s not about puritanical abstinence or morality,” he continues. “If I thought caning it all the time would make me write better songs — that’s what I’d be doing.”

“But it’s not a good look when you get older — it’s pretty naff.”