The Londoner: Porter lifts the Brit party spirit

After the pyrotechnics and legions of dancers had left the stage last night, it was time for the best of the Brits — the afterparties. At the Sony bash, Harry Styles told us the Brits “were great, the evening was great and we were great”. He was then re-absorbed into his entourage and whisked hurriedly away. Great. Next The Londoner swung by The Ned, where Billy Porter was holding court bedecked in a bright golden headdress. After declaring his love for London Fashion Week, Porter noticed the newly arrived Billie Eilish and enthused to The Londoner that “young people are coming up and they’re really saying something”. Eilish played it safe, keeping to the confines of her cordoned-off area, but her brother, the producer Finneas O’Connell, was more adventurous, breaking cover to attack a cheeseboard.

The Londoner did, however, spot Eilish snapping selfies with none other than Mel C, aka Sporty Spice, who told The Londoner that Eilish had “big Spice Girl energy”. Could she take Victoria’s spot in the next reunion? At the Chiltern Firehouse, Lizzo lived it up at a private table, while Stormzy partied at another. Heavy will be the head this morning. Last night celebrations indeed took a heavy toll on its participants. Greg James did not show up for his Radio 1 Breakfast Show; the DJ was spotted galloping around with Yannis Philippakis of Best Band winners Foals.

The Londoner was fortunate enough to enjoy legitimate access to both the Sony and the Universal afterparties, but not everyone had it so easy. One Labour MP, who is both Welsh and Caucasian, told us he once blagged his way into an afterparty after declaring himself and his partner to be a Mr and Mrs Sajid Javid. He had figured the then DCMS Secretary wouldn’t make the party and he was right. This year, meanwhile, a prominent media figure made it through by claiming he was Ed Vaizey. A necessary sacrifice. Fake it until you make it, guys.

Going down with an uplifting verdict

Lord Finkelstein wasn’t optimistic about his party’s chances before the 2015 election. In his Orwell lecture at UCL last night, the Conservative peer recalled leaving a government department at the beginning of the election campaign. “As usual, I was taken down in the lift by [the department’s long-serving messenger] Kevin. “‘Well, Kevin,’ I said. ‘This may be the last time you take me down in the lift like this.’” But Kevin had what turned out to be “a better analysis of the political scene than most commentators”. He replied: “Nah.”

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Jay Aston, the former Bucks Fizz star who scraped a mere 384 votes when standing for the Brexit Party in Kensington, is still in the music game. During the general election campaign she told The Londoner: “I’m still trying to earn a crust as a singer and dancer.” Aston’s new single is called Winning Ways. New territory then

Imelda Staunton says old-fashioned school teachers nearly held her back. “I hated at school that they made us girls, at a convent, read and not act out [plays] like Julius Caesar,” the actor told The Londoner. “Thanks for nothing,” she huffed, adding: “Plays should be performed.” She’s right — the play’s the thing, not the read-through.

Anna touches down as Emma arrives in the City of Angels

Actors Bill Nighy and Anya Taylor-Joy celebrated the premiere of Emma in LA last night. “Byeeee concrete jungle... hello city of angels,” Taylor-Joy enthused to her Instagram following. No wonder she is excited to share the film, when it came out in London, she said. “Baby Anya’s heart is exploding.” Back in our concrete jungle, fashion designer Emilia Wickstead, photographer Mary McCartney and fashion director Caroline Issa joined the Anya Hindmarch dinner to celebrate the I Am A Plastic Bag campaign. Hindmarch has been making a bold statement about the world’s plastic problem by closing all five of her London shops and filling her stores with more than 90,000 plastic bottles. Across town, actors Oliver Jackson-Cohen and Elisabeth Moss attended a photocall for The Invisible Man at The Soho Hotel.

SW1A

Watching members of the Government throw shapes in the BPI suite at last night’s Brits, The Londoner asked Foreign Office minister James Cleverly who he thought the best dancer in the Cabinet was. After a long pause, he decided it was Rishi Sunak. “There’s always a dark side,” Cleverly joked of the well-turned-out new Chancellor. When we put that to another minister at the bash, they agreed. “Rishi’s already shown he’s got hot feet.”

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Fears about coronavirus are reaching into the heart of the UK government. The Londoner learns that Jamie Njoku-Goodwin, one of Health Secretary Matt Hancock’s Special Advisers, had moved to DCMS but has temporarily returned to the Department of Health to help with coronavirus. Eek.

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I before e except after K? Labour leadership frontrunner Sir Keir Starmer may need to work on his profile... in Parliament. In recent Commons documents, two of his staffers were listed as working for “Kier Starmer”.

The Thick Of It cast's own manifesto

Armando Iannucci recalled to an Intelligence Squared event last night that while filming the first episode of The Thick Of It, he asked the actors to “come up with a policy in the back of the car” while driving between locations. They improvised and within five years “three of those policies had come true. Glenn [James Smith] said everyone should have their own plastic bags. Hugh [Chris Langham] had pet asbos. And Chris Addison came up with the National Spare Room database, which became the bedroom tax.”

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'The internet is ruining my life so I turned it off'

Brit Award winner Billie Eilish is cutting out the trolls