Former Love Island contestant Malin Andersson has revealed she considered suicide following the death of her newborn baby earlier this year.
Baby Consy died aged four weeks, after being born premature with a severe heart condition. Doctors broke the news of the condition to the new mum, after the tiny baby, who weighed less than 5Ibs, needed resuscitating moments after being born.
Consy spent her short life being looked after by doctors at Great Ormond Street Hospital. The baby girl died with her mum at her side, after picking up a virus she was just too weak to fight off.
All your prayers, messages, healing.. it means the world to us. Baby Consy is still in intensive care, and fighting each day. This has been the most difficult time I have ever gone through. I just want to hold her.. It’s different to my mum last year. My mum was ready to go.. my little girl isn’t. She has given me the ultimate purpose in my life and I’m not prepared to let her go.
A post shared by MALIN ANDERSSON (@missmalinsara) on Jan 8, 2019 at 4:29pm PST
In a candid interview with Fabulous Magazine’s Beth Neil, Malin said: “It was a few days after she died when it sunk in and I didn’t leave my bed, racking my brain to come up with reasons why I should carry on living.
“My mind was going crazy, but I just had to use every bit of strength I had left. I knew I didn’t want to waste Consy’s precious life.”
The heartbreaking death of her baby comes just over a year after Malin’s mother, also called Consy, died of cancer. Malin named her newborn in honour of her mother.
Malin went off the rails while mourning her mum, who was 65 when she lost her battle to cancer. She partied a lot, using alcohol to escape the pain. But all this changed when she discovered she was expecting her first child. She said: “As soon as I became pregnant, I immediately went sober and started eating well and dealing with my grief in a real way.
“So this little girl already saved me from going down a really bad path. I had her growing inside me so I knew I had to work harder to do things the right way.”
Despite still reeling from losing her little girl, Malin is philosophical and feels talking about Consy is the best way to try to come to terms with the tragedy: “I need to talk about her and remember her. I can feel her all around me.
Completely in love with you.. and my Mum just wanted you to be with her. Your time wasn’t ready yet. Mummy loves you. I stayed with you each day.. you opened your eyes one last time for me and I saw those beautiful big brown eyes. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anymore. Go be with grandma Consy. ❤️😞 My angel. Rest in peace CONSY GLORIA EMMA ANDERSSON-KEMP 🙏🏽 23/12/18-22/01/19.
A post shared by MALIN ANDERSSON (@missmalinsara) on Jan 23, 2019 at 12:28am PST
“I’ll always remember her beautiful, big brown eyes. They had such a story to tell. I feel like she was an old soul and she knew she wasn’t going to be here for long. I know she came to teach me something and I’m sure whatever that is will unfold.”