A man is afraid his marriage is falling apart, especially when he realizes that his wife doesn’t know what he does for a living, amplifying the many other issues in the relationship.
To provide context, the man explained that the dissolution of their marriage isn’t because of one major thing but rather the accumulation of “dozens of small things.” Still, he said that no matter how often they discuss any of the issues, her behavior won’t change.
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For example, the author of the post shared that when he tries to tell his wife about his work day, she either starts scrolling through her phone while he’s speaking or she interrupts him and starts talking about her day.
“I asked her if she actually knew what I did for a living, and she didn’t.”
The issue of his wife’s phone use during conversations reached a breaking point when the couple was at an event with her family.
“I could hear a distant relative of hers [who I had] not met before ask her what I did for a living, and the description she gave just wasn’t right. Later, when we got home, I asked her if she actually knew what I did for a living, and she didn’t,” the Redditor disclosed.
The man went on to say that since he’s been working remotely, the majority of the household cleaning falls on his shoulders. While he said that he doesn’t mind cleaning, picking up after his wife has grown tedious.
“I’ve tried to speak to her about it, and she agrees that it’s unfair, and the next day she won’t leave [her dirty dishes] lying about, but give it two days, and it’s the same again. Then, when I remind her we had agreed for her to take her dishes to the kitchen, I get shouted at for ‘Getting at her,’” the husband mentioned, exasperated.
In addition to issues with communication and household labor division, finances are also a source of stress in the marriage. As the author put it, his wife’s chronic overspending and secrecy around money have forced him to take over their finances.
The author mentioned discussing these issues with his wife, but ultimately she’s made no changes. While he concludes that couples counseling may be the last resort, the man expressed fear that going to therapy will become the beginning of the end of their marriage.
“You’re at your breaking point.”
Sympathizing with the author’s difficult situation, Reddit users tried to provide some insight.
“You say that you’re worried that counseling would [mean] the end of your marriage, but you’re at your breaking point. So it seems that it’s over if you don’t go to counseling too. At least with counseling, you’ve got a better shot at fixing this and staying together,” suggested one Redditor.
“Therapy will either help your relationship or help you realize it’s really over. Either [option] sounds better than continuing like this,” one commenter noted wisely.
Hopefully, whatever happens, both parties find peace.
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