May I have a word about… Marcelo Bielsa

What a truly extraordinary week in the febrile world of the B-word. I refer not to the pustulant Bercow or the vexatious Brexit, but the Leeds United head coach, Marcelo Bielsa.

If you missed this story, and I really can’t credit that your mind has been elsewhere, a brief recap. An official from the club was collared for spying on their opponents, Derby County, prompting a veritable deluge of outrage and opprobrium quite in keeping with an event that shook the noble game to its very foundations (feel free to add your own cataclysmic cliche).

In his mea culpa, complete with PowerPoint presentations, the 63-year-old Argentinian took football-speak into new territories. I was particularly taken with the following: “What I have done is not illegal. It is not specified [in the regulations] and it is not restrained. It is not a violation of law. We can discuss if it is right or wrong.” I’m sure that old timers such as Harry Redknapp would claim that Bielsa was bang out of order but in the greater scheme of things, what with financial shenanigans and unsavoury sexual allegations sullying the game, trying to steal a march on your next opponent seems small fry. Keep up the good work, Marcelo, you bring lustre to the game.

Turning – briefly – to Brexit, have you noticed how the word “pivot” seems to be obligatory in any discussion of how to break the impasse. Just a few examples will suffice: “May needs to pivot to the middle after Brexit vote defeat”; “Many want the leader to pivot to backing a new referendum”; “It’s very unlikely that we are about to see any dramatic pivot from the prime minister, even if the defeat is a resounding one”. No wonder we’re making so little progress if Theresa May is going about in so many directions.

• Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist