Is this what Meghan Markle will do for her hen do?

Planning a hen do for a future royal is not something I’d wish on any maid of honour.

It’s not like you can book a large table at Kensington’s newest Mexican followed by a slot at Lucky Voice and be done with it.

The location has to be smart, secluded and secret - otherwise the invitee list will go from ten to ten thousand as fans and paps try to get a shot of the blushing bride-to-be proudly sporting her L plates and whooping for the waxed stripper.

In the spirit of being helpful (and because it’s fun), we’ve decided to round up the locations we reckon could be perfect for the biggest jolly of 2018 below.

Where do you think Meghan will go wild?

A country retreat in Gloucestershire

We’re sure Harry and Will can hook these lovely LA ladies up with a pal willing to lend the girls their country estate for the weekend. It would be the perfect place for Meghan to practice her future life with the 'Glossy Posse' after all.

The party can go for long country walks and discuss the life changes that lie ahead before retiring back for a few G&Ts and Tyrells by the fire (3 o’clock is gin o’clock!).

The evening would consist of a long dinner followed by all manner of table games (Up Jenkins, Ibble Dibble and of course, the all time rah-favourite The Cereal Box Game).

Who knows, if they’re not totally blottoed by the never-ending flow of Bollinger come the end of the night, they may go wild and raid the drinks cabinet to finish off that vintage bottle of Laphroaig.

A weekend on the slopes

What royal (even if yet-to-be) doesn’t love going for a week of powder, apres ski and outrageous chalets?

Money-is-no-object alpine pads could offer the girls private spas, cinema rooms, helipads, in-door climbing walls and master suites that take up whole floors.

The question is - what location would they go for?

It could be Klosters, a resort so well versed in hosting royals that Prince Charles actually has cable cars named after him due to the amount of times he’s visited. Then again, it could also be Courchevel, aka the ‘playground of the oligarchs’ and every-A-lister-ever or perhaps even Meribel - a well known favourite of Kate and Wills. Let’s just hope Meghan doesn’t have one to many Ciroc Ultras and hit the headlines for the type of ski holiday dancing her future brother-in-law did last year…

The party island

Okay, so you won’t find Meghan queueing up for Pacha in a faux tiara giddy about seeing Afrojack but the party island could still offer no end of fun.

Meghan previously wrote about her love for Ibiza on her now defunct travel blog, The Tig. She “wanderlust-ed” her way around the Balearics on a #girlstrip in 2016 and couldn’t get enough.

Away from the party masses, up in the hills on the “other side of Ibiza” or on the neighbouring island of Formentera, the hen party could rent a seriously pimped-out villa with enough security to make it feel like Fort Knox.

If she wants to sip from a chocolate penis straw, no problem, or have a stripper - who goes by the name of Magic Miguel - do a little dance on her last night as an unmarried women, NBD.

No one ever has to know, right?

Slumber party

If she follows in the same vein as new royal BFF, Kate, then the bash could be brought straight to her. Kate opted to stay at home for her 2011 hen do with her sister and just a few close pals so as a royal-to-be it's not an outrageous idea.

Prince Harry and Meghan are currently living on the grounds of Kensington Palace in Nottingham Cottage so at least it would be an easy-to-get to, one-uber-ride location for all attendees (win). The palace staff would probably encourage this option too - after all, they’ll be able to keep a watchful eye on the hen shenanigans and make sure they’re not getting too “loose”. Let’s just hope none of the gal pals spill Rioja on the wool cream carpets…

Tearing Up The West Coast

There is always the chance she could head back to her former stomping ground and tear up America’s West Coast one last time. If she went really awol, she might even combine the trip with Vegas.

Truthfully we’d love to see her letting her hair down at The Abbey, but that’s unlikely. She’d probably just hire out the likes of Craig’s or Chateau Marmont and enter and leave via the backdoor. After all, she is a Hollywood actress at heart, isn’t she?