How a memory bear helped young Co Tyrone boy overcome loss of dad to cancer

A Northern Ireland mum, who lost her husband to cancer three years ago, has opened up about how a memory bear helped her young son in the grieving process.

Lorraine Reid from Co Tyrone was speaking to mark the start of Children’s Grief Awareness Week at Derry's Foyle Hospice, which shines a light on the vital services which are offered to support bereaved children and young people, both pre and post bereavement throughout the community.

At Foyle Hospice, the special memory bear has been a massive part of the healing process for many youngsters, providing comfort and continued bonds with their loved one. These bears, which are specially made from their loved ones clothing, are offered through Healing Hearts, a free service that provides specialist bereavement support for any child or young person, aged 4-18 years.

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Mum-of-four Lorraine, from Strabane, whose husband, Barry, died from cancer in June 2021 aged just 48, praised the “amazing” memory bears which she strongly believes helped her son, Harry, who was just six-years-old at the time, to overcome the loss of his father.

She said: “Harry loves his bear, or Phil as he calls him, because his daddy was a huge Phil Collins fan! Harry’s bear goes to bed with him every night and he takes it everywhere. The bear is made from Harry’s dads favourite t-shirts and a pair of Christmas socks.

“The socks were used because every time his daddy asked him to grab a pair of socks, Harry always brought him Christmas ones as a joke!

She continued: “I feel the teddy bear has certainly helped Harry in many ways, particularly because of the physical element. It’s something to hold onto belonging to his daddy and he loves cuddling it, which provides a lot of comfort to him.

“It was also Harry’s idea to spray the bear with his daddy’s favourite aftershave. In this way, he not only has the touch element but the smell too which I really feel helps his wee mood.”

Lorraine praised Healing Hearts, which she says has been a lifesaver for her and her family during their time of grief: “The Hospice nurses told us about Healing Hearts and I’m so glad they did because we couldn’t have coped without it. Harry started going to counselling with Michelle who is absolutely amazing.

“He loved it and not only did he create memory bears, he also made memories jars, memory boxes, drew pictures and talked very openly with Michelle about his daddy. It really helped him to get in touch with his emotions and feelings and gave him the confidence to talk about his daddy without getting upset.”

Two years ago, Lorraine organised a Quiz Night for Barry’s 50th and raised an amazing £3,500, which went towards the Healing Hearts Memory Bears.

She added: “The memory bears are the best thing ever and the amount of detail and love that goes into making them is incredible. Harry is so proud of his and even took it into school for everyone to see whenever he made it. It has helped to keep his daddy’s memory alive and is something he can cherish forever.

“The most important thing is that it makes him happy and as a mother, when you know your kids are happy, then it makes you happy and gives you a reason to keep on going."

If you would like to donate a memory bear for a child or young person at Foyle Hospice this Christmas, please visit: https://foylehospice.com/product/cherishbear/ or call 02871 359 888.

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