Be more Middleton: My day of Duchess lessons at Myka Meier's Beaumont Etiquette class in New York

Walking into the iconic Plaza Hotel on a recent chilly Saturday morning there was a line out the door of one of the venue’s private rooms. A group of mostly millennial women were standing in heeled booties, Kate Middleton -inspired dresses and designer bags, showing off perfect blowouts, as if they'd all hit the Dry Bar in one go and all requested the Cosmo-Tai.

The young women in question weren’t heading to an extravagant wedding - which The Plaza is also famous for hosting - they were all on their way to an etiquette lesson.

Mykka Meier’s Beaumont Etiquette lessons are entirely modern. Part of me expected a Cotillion repeat, with someone critiquing my fork holding and explaining how to set a table. But her course is designed for the modern era - it’s gender neutral (so no “ladies first”) with the aim of making men and women feel more comfortable and charismatic in any social setting.

In my eternal quest to channel my inner Meghan Markle, I joined the group of young women - and a select few gentlemen in business suits - to find out how I could behave like a Duchess... or at the very least, act like one.

“I took the train last night, I’m going to the Met after this,” a perfectly coiffed girl in front of me announced. Another said she flew in from Canada for the class. In the morning-long sold-out course we covered social graces, with wine tips straight from a Plaza sommelier, a three-course dining experience, fashion tips from a stylist and a lesson on business protocol.

Meier founded the class five years ago and recently released a book sharing her tips and tricks for charming anybody. “I have a formula for how to come across more charismatic instantly,” she promised.

She grew up in Florida and attended university there before moving to New York after graduation where she worked “five jobs to make it work.” She explained to the full class that her courses are all about “instilling confidence through etiquette.”

Despite her regal pedigree - she trained in London under a former member of The Royal Household of Her Majesty the Queen - Meier is not intimidating. There are no books on heads and she suggests using humor to avoid uncomfortable questions.

She told the class, “I don’t think I touched my first piece of silver cutlery until I was an adult."

When she moved to London with her now-husband, she found that “everyone held their silverware in a very specific way,” leading her to feel “insecure.” When her husband suggested an etiquette class, she was offended at first but ended up embracing the practices she learned and modernizing them.

Now she's considered the 'Marie Kondo of etiquette' and regularly consults and writes about modern manners and even got into an argument with Gwyneth Paltrow about correct etiquette on The Today Show.

The class covers far more than how to hold your fork (although you do learn to eat in Continental style, which I didn't exactly master - it's honestly a miracle I'm not still slowly picking up chickpeas uptown.)

If you can't make it to the Plaza for class (although some folks flew in from Los Angeles for the event) here's what I learned.

1. American etiquette is the least formal in the western world

According to Meier, the British have more formalities or "a few more rules." This means dining Continental style, which I found almost impossible. Instead of cutting and then switching your hands, the fork and knife hover above your plate and you never switch hands to saw away. You also take four bites and then rest your silverware with the prongs down. I attempted to eat a chickpea stew this way and got approximately four bites in. As a notoriously slow eater, dining this way would take me hours.

2. Correcting bad etiquette is bad etiquette

Even though I now know exactly where to place my napkin (gently pinched on the table after the meal, on your lap with the crease facing towards you during the meal so you can hide any unseemly spills), I would never correct anyone else's napkin placement as she explained that correcting someone else's etiquette is the worst etiquette.

3. When entering a room close the door with your left hand

This way, you come across as instantly more comfortable since it takes four seconds to acclimate in a room. When you close the door with your left hand, you never turn your back on the people you're about to greet so you have time to get used to them, making you instantly more charming - or at least that's the theory.

4. When introducing people, the most VIP person’s name comes first

And the correct way to say it is, “May I please introduce you to…”

5. Don’t start a thank you with thank you

Instead, say, "I can’t tell you how much I've enjoyed your present!" or something else that feels meaningful. Starting out with "thank you" is about as meaningful as beginning a work email with "I hope you're well."

6. To appear more likeable, look into a person’s left eye

Apparently when you look into someone's left eye you lean in ever so gently, making the person feel like you're talking to them in a personal way. To be more authoritative, look into their right eye.

7. Instead of crossing your legs in the usual way, try the Queen’s Pose, Cambridge Cross or Duchess Slant

The Duchess Slant was a favorite with Princess Diana and involves knees and ankles together with the knees facing downward to protect modesty and elongate legs. Once seated, simply put hands one over the other or link them.

8. Don't bend and snap, swivel and pop

If you’re getting out of a cab, try the Legally Blonde inspired Swivel and Pop, wherein you move to the edge of the seat, swivel your knees and ankles and pop out without ever separating your legs - which can be difficult if you’re a New Yorker covered in tote bags trying to get out of a practically-still-moving Uber.

Meier suggests acting like you have a rubber band around your knees and ankles when you sit and get out of a cab - but that’s the only gendered etiquette tip she offers.

9. Here's when to unfold your napkin...

I always learned that you should sit down and immediately put your napkin on your lap, but Meier says that when you're dining in a private home, wait until the hostess puts their napkin on their lap before you place yours on your lap so you don’t put pressure on the host.

10. Refold your napkin in half with the crease facing towards you.

I learned to "open the napkin to dab so all the stains stay contained to the inside of the napkin," which has already been useful as a notoriously messy eater. And I take her tips serious, as Meier is an expert on napkins, she even got into an argument with Gwyneth Paltrow about the correct etiquette on The Today Show. And you know she's legitimate if she schooled Paltrow in the ancient art of etiquette.