'My mother-in-law wants to see my newborn baby - but doesn't want me there'

The mother-in-law wants to see her granddaughter - without the baby's mum (STOCK IMAGE)
-Credit: (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A new mum has been left furious about her mother-in-law's demand to see her baby grandchild - because the grandma doesn't want her there. The older relative urged her son to bring his new daughter over for a visit, despite living four hours away.

The recovering mum has always struggled to form a bond with her mother-in-law, who has been frosty towards her all throughout her relationship. But the grandmother wanted to step up when she found out about the pregnancy.

She showered the expectant woman with gifts and made it clear she wanted to be a big part of her granddaughter's life. The mum was thrilled, and wondered if the baby might help her own relationship with her mother-in-law.

But when the grandma requested the newborn be brought out to visit her - without the mother coming along - she knew the issues were still there, The Mirror reports.

Posting about the situation on Reddit, she wrote: "I'm going to start this by saying that I have never been on good terms with my husband's mum. She first and foremost never approved of me as a wife and daughter-in-law.

We didn't fight, we just kept our distance and things got a lot more peaceful when my husband and I moved away. Once she heard I was pregnant, she still kept her distance but sent stuff and gifts saying she was intending on having a relationship with her granddaughter.

"I had no issues with it, in fact, I supported this decision and thought maybe my daughter will help soothe things between me and her grandma. My daughter is 6 weeks old.

"Her grandma already saw her via video calls but lately, she has been pressuring my husband to bring our daughter to her. She lives four hours away and she told him she didn't want me to come along."

The new mum refused point blank, because she can't have her young daughter so far away from her for so long, as the baby needs her. But her husband was furious and took his mother's side.

The woman continued: "My initial response was no because at this age my daughter can not go anywhere without me. My husband tried to argue saying if it's about feeding then he'll get formula but I told him it's not about that.

The new mum refused to be apart from her infant daughter (STOCK IMAGE)
The new mum refused to be apart from her infant daughter (STOCK IMAGE) -Credit:Getty Images/iStockphoto

"He got mad at me and said that I'm being unreasonable to keep our daughter away from her grandma. I told him our daughter is still too young to travel. He asked me to explain how many 'years' his mum has to wait and then said it was no huge deal but I'm making it that way.

"I said that his mum is the one making this a huge deal by telling me to not come and let my daughter go alone. He laughed sarcastically and said that he's the other parent and so I shouldn't feel like she's going alone.

"I don't know, I just felt uneasy being hours away from my daughter for an entire weekend. He told me I was being overly possessive and paranoid. We had an argument and I refused to let him take her."

The new mum revealed that her refusal led to her husband getting his family to start calling her to try and talk her round. Questioning her decision, she asked Reddit if she was out of line "for refusing and rejecting the whole idea?"

Many parents rallied behind the new mum, saying that the mother-in-law should never have suggested a visit without the parent - and suggesting it's a significant red flag that she did. One user replied: "OP is a package deal with her child, not just an incubator."

Another said: "I have a six-week old and I would never agree to this. Why can't she come to visit you? And her telling your husband you can't come is ridiculous. Because of that alone, she wouldn't be seeing my baby."

A third fuming user commented: "I came into this thinking OP just didn't want to see MIL because of their beef but not only does she [MIL] expect a month old infant to travel to her but also has the audacity to say their mother can't come along."

Another mother said: "I would NEVER let a six-week-old go for a weekend without me. My husband would never suggest such a thing. And if grandma can't be nice to you, grandma doesn't need to be involved with your child.

"Evidently, you seriously have a husband problem. He's insisting on something that you've said you're not comfortable with and then involved his family to bully you. It might be time to go stay with your family and get into couple's counselling to see if you even want to save this relationship."

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