Mum wants to 'smash the stigma' of suicide after teenage son's death
Adam was a "caring" teenager who loved rock climbing and bouldering. However, at the age of 18 he took his own life and it devastated his family, but in the five years since they've been looking to "smash the stigma" surrounding suicide.
Adam was one of six siblings and mum Indila Simandi said he showed a "caring" and "loving" side from a young age. She told LeicestershireLive: “We are a very big family. [He was] very caring, loving and huggable. You would want to hug him anytime you met him."
Everything changed when Adam died. Indila and the whole family were rocked by Adam's suicide, with the mum revealing that she “did not feel equipped to help Adam”. Since then, she's turned campaigner to help other families and prevent similar heartbreaking tragedies occur.
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Adam's caring side was among his most notable traits, but Indila, of Glenfield, said there was more to him than that. She said: "He was very stubborn, he was the most stubborn person I have ever met in my life. He was very smart, [...] he passed his GCSE’s they just brought in the new system.
“He achieved the highest possible grade in maths. Adam was very keen on rock climbing and bouldering, that was one of his favourite activities. We went on a trip to the Peak District. We found a sheep fallen amongst the rocks and Adam went down and saved this sheep. Adam went and set him free which showed his caring attitude.”
When Adam died, the family were all hit "very hard". Indila said: “My daughter is very close in age to Adam and they are basically twins. It was very hard for us but I think personally for my daughter because she is so, so close. I did not feel equipped to help Adam."
Adam's story is not unique. Figures have revealed that 6,929 young adults between the ages of 15-24 took their own lives in the past decade, while a new report from suicide prevention charity CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably), found that suicide is now the leading cause of death in the UK for people aged 15-34.
For parents and carers of young adults in the UK, suicide is the sensitive topic that they feel the least confident discussing, with only 15 per cent of them having discussed the topic. It's why Indila, who works for a Shepshed-based charity which helps young children who have physical disabilities and learning difficulties, has turned campaigner to help others struggling.
She said: “It makes me determined to do everything in my power to stop this tragedy from happening to anybody else. It’s very simple, if a young person doesn’t feel safe to say how they feel, we miss a crucial chance to offer them other options to talk and about what else we can do.
“The only chance we have is that they feel comfortable to talk to us about it. Suicide is the biggest killer in under 35’s, I do not think enough is done about how to prevent this.”
CALM's C.A.R.E kit is touted as a good place for parents and young people to start breaking the stigma according to Indila. She said the kit, which stands for check in, ask how they are, remain close, and expert help, was a “very beneficial resource to give us advice and practical tools".
The campaign to break barriers hit London this week to mark World Suicide Prevention Day on Tuesday (September 10). It saw a display of 6,929 birthday balloons installed in the Westfield Shopping Centre, with each balloon representing a birthday that a young person never celebrated.
Indila was among 50 participating families who shared photos of loved ones who had taken their lives and recorded a video message of a story of them. Indila hoped the display will “smash the stigma about talking about suicide.”
She said: “They are immersive and incredibly moving, they are breathtakingly beautiful. It’s a real experience to see them. It hopefully will have an impact and raise awareness of suicide prevention, to help us all save lives and be there for young people."
While the topic of suicide may be hard for some parents to even think about discussing with their children, Indila has given advice for making that first conversation happen. She said: “To be there for your children in a way you may not have considered before.
“To feel open to starting those very difficult conversations. I did not know I should be talking to Adam about how he feels and actively encouraging him to talk. Its understandably very difficult starting up a conversation about suicide, talking about suicide does not put ideas in anybody’s mind but it can save lives.”
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