'My mum won't stop hugging and kissing my daughter without her consent – I'm fuming'

She wants her mum to ask consent before she kisses her toddler (stock)
-Credit: (Image: Getty Images)


A woman has criticised her mother for not seeking her granddaughter's consent before kissing her goodbye after a visit. The mum detailed how she is attempting to teach her two year old about consent, but claims her own mother is making it difficult.

Despite being thankful for her mother's help with childcare while she is busy, she berated her for 'disregarding' her rules. She shared on Netmums: "My daughter is coming up to three. I'm trying to start teaching her that her body is hers, and she can say no to hugs and kisses etc if she wants, but my mum is making it impossible."

"She assists me greatly with childcare, which I'm extremely grateful for. But I've noticed that when my daughter says no to a kiss or cuddle, my mum always says things like 'don't be silly, of course you can hug your nanny', and just goes in for the kiss anyway."

"I've attempted to discuss this with her, but she believes I'm being absurd, and that a three year old doesn't know what she wants, and family should always get cuddles, etc." Seeking guidance, she asked other users how they would manage the situation - but the feedback she received was not quite what she anticipated.

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She added: "Just wanted to get some opinions to see if other people think I'm being ridiculous, too? I just want my daughter to grow up feeling like she has some control over her own body. If everyone thinks I'm mad, I'll leave it, but if not, I can show my mum that it's not just me!"

In response, one user said: "You're being ridiculous. Sorry to be blunt. Another user added: "In short if you're not happy with the level of care then you can put your child with another childcare provider. "A third user said: "Sorry but you're being ridiculous.

"Your mum helps out with childcare but she's not allowed to give/get hugs and kisses from her granddaughter. It may be a good idea to teach your daughter that she's allowed to say no to hugs and kisses from extended family and friends but not immediate family!"

One more user added: "Sorry, you are being ridiculous. It's her nan, she obviously loves her very much and provides loving care for her. It's OK to teach your daughter about boundaries but immediate family in this context is totally different, your mum is a "safe" adult, she is not a risk to your child, it's the total opposite."