35 Honest Tweets About Netflix From Parents

99% sure a tired parent invented the “automatically play next episode” feature on Netflix.

— Sammy Rhodes (@sammyrhodes) April 6, 2014

Me: I’m going to get so much done today

Netflix: Bitch you thought

— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) January 15, 2020

A Parent's Netflix queue:
-Kids' stuff
-That 1 episode of that 1 show that you keep trying to watch but fall asleep during.

— Beau Coffron (@lunchboxdad) January 7, 2016

My 2yo just started cheering when he heard Netflix start up if you’re wondering how my parenting is going.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 31, 2018

wife: how long have u been watching TV??

me: uhhhh...3 Netflix "are you still watchings".

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 15, 2020

[5:30am]

Me: Babe. Wake up. Hurry, babe. We only have fourteen and a half hours to decide what to watch on Netflix tonight. I’ll put the coffee on.

— Katie Didn't (@Pork_Chop_Hair) January 19, 2020

Parenting and marriage is really just trying hard to make your spouse do everything so you can continue your Netflix marathon.

— Court (@Discourt) March 14, 2016

People without kids: Netflix and chill.

Parents: Netflix and make dinner/clean up dishes/pretend to be a grown-up and scroll Twitter.

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) January 6, 2017

Nothing makes me feel like a worse parent than Netflix asking my kid if she’s still watching...

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) October 3, 2019

40 minutes to find a movie on Netflix we all agree on, and after six minutes I fall asleep.

Welcome to Friday Night Parenting.

— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) May 30, 2015

Dating: Netflix & Chill

Engaged: Netflix & Netflix & Chill

Married: Netflix & Netflix & Netflix & Netflix & Netflix & Ccchhh...zzzzzz...

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 21, 2020

Netflix and popcorn are the perfect way to spend this stormy afternoon.

Too bad these pesky kids keep making me get up and parent.

— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) February 12, 2019

Dear Netflix

Why no ‘skip intro’ option on Paw Patrol?

From all parents

— ThreeTimeDaddy (@threetimedaddy) March 4, 2018

"I haven't seen even one of these films and won't until they're on Netflix." Every parent with children under the age of 5. #OscarNoms

— Allana Harkin (@AllanaHarkin) January 10, 2013

Just when you think you have a grip on parenting they change the lineup on Netflix.

— Daddy’s Digest (@daddysdigest) February 11, 2019

There should be more value placed on how quickly a parent can turn off Netflix when their kid yells "what are you watching?" from their bed.

— Mike Reynolds (@EverydayGirlDad) February 28, 2017

Was the “are you still watching this” feature on Netflix created to snap us out of laziness and into action?

Or was it created specifically for parents to keep things accurate, knowing full well that no parent on Earth can possibly stay awake for 3 straight episodes?

— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) October 2, 2018

Me: I can’t wait for moms’ night out.

Also me: I really just want to stay home and eat ice cream while watching something on Netflix.

— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) September 6, 2018

I thought Netflix and chill meant actually watching Netflix and relaxing, if you're looking for a middle aged mom who's down with the lingo.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 15, 2015

The Netflix buttons parents need. pic.twitter.com/yrL7SQKTsn

— The Dad (@thedad) November 29, 2018

me trying to start a movie on Netflix
my 11yo: not that one mom. It’s inappropriate.
me: how do you know?
11yo: I watched it

— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) May 11, 2019

Parents: We run on coffee, adrenaline, wine, stress eating, online shopping, Target, sleep-deprivation, binge watching Netflix, staying up too late, laughing with friends, crying with friends, commiserating with friends, inappropriate humor, sarcasm, loving on our babies.

— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) January 10, 2018

Me, to other parents: We try to limit screentime to two hours a day at most.

Me, to my toddler: Here’s my Netflix password, don’t wake me before noon.

— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) May 12, 2018

I am "my kids just shouted the countdown on Netflix as they binge watch another TV episode" years into parenting

— dadmissions (@Dadmissions) November 24, 2016

Adulthood officially begins when you stop using your parents' Netflix account and start using your own.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 9, 2018

Last night my kids asked me what did I use to watch on Netflix when I was younger & I genuinely felt like a craggy old man telling tales to children huddled around a campfire, keeping us warm from the nuclear winter.
"Gather round young'uns & let me tell you about the

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) January 22, 2020

Really love it how after letting my kid autoplay three consecutive episodes of “Zak Storm: Super Pirate,” Netflix stops to basically remind me what a bad parent I am.

— dadpression (@Dadpression) January 12, 2018

I can only assume children's shows on Netflix with low ratings are the result of parents who have watched them on repeat for months.

— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) November 21, 2016

Back in my day...

Dad: We only had 3 channels

Me: We only had 35

Kids: We only had 2 Netflix accounts

Grandkids: We only had 1 holodeck

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 6, 2016

All my toddler has known of tv is mostly Netflix, Amazon Prime and movies. I put Super Simple Songs on YouTube and whenever an ad plays, she yells “UH OH!!” until I can skip it. I’m sure as hell not going to be the one to tell her about cable television. #momlife #parenting

— Marissa ✋🏼🌸 (@michimama75) January 11, 2019

Hell hath no fury like a Mom who can't access Netflix.

— Domestic Goddess (@DomesticGoddss) February 20, 2015

I'll wear an old shirt.
We'll try not to wake the kids.
Netflix awaits us.

"Parents of little kids lovemaking" haiku

— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) March 2, 2017

7yo: Back when mom was a kid, you could only watch one show a week

8yo: Yeah I know they didn’t even have Netflix

Me: *flash to me and my BFF watching a 24 hour marathon of 90210 like the female version of Beavis and Butthead* “THAT’S RIGHT. WHEN I WAS A KID, WE PLAYED OUTSIDE”

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) December 1, 2018

I'm a bad mom cuz my kid can work Netflix on his own. A well-rested bad mom.

— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) September 5, 2017

I’m suspicious of any parent that talks about binging on Netflix. Where do you find this magical time? What am I missing here?

— Celeste Yvonne (@andwhatamom) August 16, 2018