Pop star Michelle Heaton is feeling "shaky and emotional" as she recovers from a double mastectomy last week.
The former Liberty X singer opted for the drastic preventative procedure after learning she is genetically prone to breast cancer, and she admits the operation has taken its toll on her.
In her column for Closer magazine, she writes, "I'm still shaky and emotional and I keep crying all the time. It's the feeling of the unknown - while I'm so relieved the operation is over, I have to take each day as it comes as there are still so many side effects.
"I've had a couple of peeks down my nightie but, I'll be honest, I'm scared to look at them (breasts) properly in the mirror... I can't face looking at them properly in case it freaks me out... I feel completely numb on my chest."
But Heaton insists the most trying part of her recovery is not being able to cuddle her 11-month-old daughter, Faith.
She adds, "I couldn't do anything, not even hug her. It's the hardest thing in the world not being able to hold your child and it was awful because she could obviously sense something was wrong. To see her waving as she left was heartbreaking."