Paper-thin meat and PC 'gingerbread people' - I tried Caffe Nero's festive menu

Season's eatings - I love this time of year with all the Christmas specials returning to fill our bellies with festive cheer. Mince pies, mulled wine, and battered Brussels sprouts...I can't get enough of them.

Finding something new this year has proved quite challenging. I'm still holding out for a chippy to serve up battered Quality Street - perhaps I need to go to Scotland, the home of deep-fried everything. It might only be November but I'm already up to my neck in turkey, pigs in blankets and cranberry sauce.

Something out of the ordinary that reeled me in was Caffe Nero's Italian Festive Porchetta Focaccia. I could eat my body weight in focaccia (I probably have) and porchetta has to be the most divine way of eating pork...a bold statement but I'd say it's even better than bacon.

Getting myself down to the coffee shop in Beeston, I couldn't resist trying one of the festive drinks to go with it. I'm not usually one for extravagantly flavoured coffees - an Americano or flat white is as exciting as it gets, but what the heck, Christmas only comes once a year (thank goodness, you may cry).

The caramelised pistachio latte is one of those drinks that makes the perfect image on Instagram, topped with swirly whipped cream, caramel sauce and the green smattering of crushed nuts. But does it pass the taste test? Actually it does - indulgent, rich and not as sickly sweet as I feared. Although it's not something I'd drink every day, because of the calories and £4.75 price tag, it certainly captures the festive flavours.

I was chomping at the bit to sample the porchetta, sandwiched between toasted focaccia. Porchetta, one of the best pork dishes to come out of Italy, is just the most beautiful juicy roll of meat stuffed with herbs, fennel and lemon topped with golden crunchy crackling.

In hindsight I should have lowered my expectations. Instead the meat was limp and paper thin, not the sumptuous thick slab I'd been hoping for, for £6.35. Once I'd got over the initial disappointment, I have to admit it was still tasty, with herby and salty hits thanks to the accompanying salsa, melty mozzarella, and flecks of rosemary topping the bread.

I'd planned to finish with a sweet treat of a Black Forest Chouxnut. The man next in line ordered three and it turned out they were the last ones. He offered to give up one but I couldn't deny him so I went with a slab of white chocolate and gingerbread cake instead, priced £3.95.

The festive-looking sponge was topped with gold-coloured curls and politically correct gingerbread "people". The sponge had a warm gingerly taste but, unless you've got a really sweet tooth, the chocolate topping together with the creamy latte might be a step too far.

OK, the food and drink gets a tick for putting me in a Christmassy mood but it was spoilt by a dog at the next table. Don't shoot me...I like dogs, I grew up in a family of dog lovers, and on my way to the coffee shop I complimented an owner on her pooch's very cute snowman coat.

I don't mind dogs in pubs and even cafes if they sit quietly under the table - except when it's raining and there's that awful stench of wet dog. Obviously I've no problems with guide dogs, who always seem very well behaved.

What I don't like is canines jumping up right next to me as they're given treats and their noses drifting towards my plate, which fortunately by this time was empty. Some might find it endearing and entertaining but I don't think it's very hygienic.