Parents: How you can help your child in the run up to Results Day 2017

This month thousands of students up and down the country will be collecting their exam results, on August 17 for A-Levels and August 24 for GCSEs. The run-up to Results Day can prove an anxious time, and for parents, it can be almost as stressful.

Does your child need days out as a distraction, or constant reassurance? Should you plan for the worst, or quietly hope for the best? And should you go into school with them when they collect their results, or give them space and wait for their phone call?

The Telegraph spoke to Emma Saddleton, Senior Coordinator for the Parents Helpline at Young Minds, to discover the best advice for parents of children waiting for their results.

Don’t give vague reassurances

The temptation is to tell your child the old adage: everything will be fine. But sometimes these vague reassurances can have a counter-productive effect. If your child seems stressed, try to work out the cause.

“Actually engage with what the specific worry is,” Saddleton advised.

“If you give vague reassurance –  ‘oh darling, everything will be alright, don’t worry, everything will be alright’ – actually a teenager can interpret that and experience that as quite dismissive.”

Offer distractions

 Whether it’s a holiday, or regular days out to the local museum, make sure your child has the opportunity to briefly forget about the upcoming Results Day.  

“You must involve activities that act as a distraction point.  

“It’s just about having daily activities and being able to focus your young person’s mind on other things. Make sure there is fun, there is activities, there are distractions.”

Make a Plan B

It’s important to make a back-up plan ahead of Results Day, just in case your child is disappointed with their grades.

“Make a Plan A and a Plan B, and make sure you are absolutely clear that executing Plan A or Plan B is absolutely fine,” said Saddleton.

However, you have to make sure that you discuss Plan B with your child well in advance.

“If you start discussing Plan B before Results Day, and then what you’re saying is exactly the same after the results come through, that young person will take that to heart and know that there’s a level of sincerity and authenticity that’s coming from you as a parent.”

Give them space on Results Day (but only if they want it)

Be mindful that on Results Day, you’ll probably need to give your child emotional support and potentially space as well. However, each child is different.

“It’s about respecting where they’re at, and every child is going to be distinctly different from the other,” Saddleton said.

“One person might not come for a few hours, sending just a few texts to their parents, whilst another be straight home in floods of tears.”

Although it’s hard as a parent, if your child wants that space, it’s important to respect that boundary.

Try to keep calm

“Children are like sponges, they soak up the anxiety felt by parents,” Saddleton explained.

“You have to exude calm and stability at all times.”

Make sure you’ve spoken to your child’s teachers and discussed options for if things don’t go according to plan. The more prepared you are, the more calm you can be when your child needs your support and advice.

'What if my child suffers from mental health problems?'

Have an honest conversation with your child about how they think they’ll feel on Results Day. Discuss potential outcomes, triggers and how each one will affect them. Do this well advance.

“For children with anxiety or depression, discuss how those low feelings are going to be triggered, and what they need from you in response to that.”

Put a plan in place. Will your child want them with you? Would it be helpful if you took the day off work? Above all, what do they think they’ll need from you? If you do this a few weeks before Results Day, it will be far easier to answer these questions.