People shared their real stories about experiencing gaslighting in relationships

Kit Steinkellner
People shared their real stories about experiencing gaslighting in relationships
People shared their real stories about experiencing gaslighting in relationships

Gaslighting is a term that has been bandied about a bunch these days.

If you’ve been hiding out under a rock for the past few months (or have heard the word tossed around, but just been too embarrassed to ask for a definition) and don’t know what’s up, we’re here to help.

“Gaslighting” comes from the 1944 mystery-thriller Gaslight in which a husband tries to trick his wife into thinking she’s going insane.

The title comes from the husband dimming and brightening the gaslights, and then pretending not to notice the change in the lighting, and acting like it’s all in his wife’s head. What a catch, right?

The sad thing is, gaslighting isn’t just a thing that happens in movies. It also happens in dysfunctional relationships.

Right, it’s a SUPER messed up thing to do to someone, trying to make them think THEY are the unhinged one, when really you’re just being a manipulative d-bag. But unfortunately, it happens all too frequently.

Courtesy of Whisper, here are some experiences of people who have had the unpleasant experience of being gaslighted in their relationships:

1.

The other day, I found out that I'm being gaslighted. I haven't felt this validated since finding out I suffer from depression/anxiety. I'm not crazy.
The other day, I found out that I'm being gaslighted. I haven't felt this validated since finding out I suffer from depression/anxiety. I'm not crazy.
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2.

I recently came to realise that i was gaslighted since i was a kid. By my mom. No wonder I'm a mess
I recently came to realise that i was gaslighted since i was a kid. By my mom. No wonder I'm a mess
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3.

I was GASLIGHTED. psychological abuse is so much worse than physical abuse. No one can prove it. No one can help me.
I was GASLIGHTED. psychological abuse is so much worse than physical abuse. No one can prove it. No one can help me.
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4.

I have recently acknowledged that I'm a victim of gaslighting. I feel so helpless, and the worst part is that the abuser is my husband. Narcissists will destroy you!
I have recently acknowledged that I'm a victim of gaslighting. I feel so helpless, and the worst part is that the abuser is my husband. Narcissists will destroy you!
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5.

Sometimes I don't know if I'm being an unreasonable girlfriend or if I'm being gaslighted:/
Sometimes I don't know if I'm being an unreasonable girlfriend or if I'm being gaslighted:/
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6.

Today marks one year since he left. I spent six years deluding myself, being gaslighted, indoctrinated. And I've finally reemerged, like an old friend with newer scars, but shining brightly, fiercely.
Today marks one year since he left. I spent six years deluding myself, being gaslighted, indoctrinated. And I've finally reemerged, like an old friend with newer scars, but shining brightly, fiercely.
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7.

I've been gaslighted by my husband so much that I rely on my best friend to tell me what's true or real, like Peeta and Katniss.
I've been gaslighted by my husband so much that I rely on my best friend to tell me what's true or real, like Peeta and Katniss.
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8.

Even though he hits me, I often wonder if I'm the abusive one. Neither of us are perfect but I wonder if he's gaslighting me to make me think I'm worse
Even though he hits me, I often wonder if I'm the abusive one. Neither of us are perfect but I wonder if he's gaslighting me to make me think I'm worse
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9.

Tired of being gaslighted. At work, in relationships, everywhere. My thoughts & feelings are valid.
Tired of being gaslighted. At work, in relationships, everywhere. My thoughts & feelings are valid.
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10.

I was gaslighted so long, led to believe I was just a crazy person. Well now its just been revealed that I was right about EVERYTHING. No wonder I can't trust anyone.
I was gaslighted so long, led to believe I was just a crazy person. Well now its just been revealed that I was right about EVERYTHING. No wonder I can't trust anyone.
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11.

He lied to my face, again, after I told him I knew he had lied to me earlier. He chose his words carfully and made me me feel like I was being paranoid and crazy....that's gaslighting right?
He lied to my face, again, after I told him I knew he had lied to me earlier. He chose his words carfully and made me me feel like I was being paranoid and crazy....that's gaslighting right?
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12.

I was sexually abused by my "seemingly-harmless" now ex-boyfriend for 18 months. He gaslighted me the entire relationship. It's been two years. I don't want to be seen as a victim.
I was sexually abused by my "seemingly-harmless" now ex-boyfriend for 18 months. He gaslighted me the entire relationship. It's been two years. I don't want to be seen as a victim.
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13.

After 4 years of being mentally/emotionally abused & gaslighted, I cheated on my now-ex boyfriend. It took 2 years, but I no longer feel guilty. It was the only way out of that toxic relationship.
After 4 years of being mentally/emotionally abused & gaslighted, I cheated on my now-ex boyfriend. It took 2 years, but I no longer feel guilty. It was the only way out of that toxic relationship.
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14.

I've been gaslighted for so long I can never tell when I'm actually in the wrong.
I've been gaslighted for so long I can never tell when I'm actually in the wrong.
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15.

I have been the victim of gaslighting by my own husband. I am so damaged. Today I am leaving him.
I have been the victim of gaslighting by my own husband. I am so damaged. Today I am leaving him.
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