A married police officer accused of murdering his long-term lover broke down in tears in court as he admitted he was responsible for her death.
PC Timothy Brehmer told the jury that their affair had been “a little bubble of niceness”, adding: “I absolutely did not want to kill her or cause serious bodily harm. I didn’t intend to kill her.”
Brehmer, 41, has admitted the manslaughter of nurse Claire Parry but denies murder. He is alleged to have strangled the mother-of-two after she sent a text message on his phone to his wife revealing that he had been having an affair. He claims she was injured as he tried to get her out of his car.
The trial at Salisbury crown court has heard that Brehmer, an officer with Dorset police, had been having an affair with Parry for more than 10 years.
Brehmer said: “We didn’t have to worry about the domestic things at home, you could be all of your good things, not your bad things, none of your vulnerabilities.
“It was a suspended state of your best self. It was an affair, that’s what you have an affair for.”
He said that over the years, they would go for months without seeing each other, and just prior to Parry’s death in May they rarely met because of the Covid-19 lockdown and only communicated through a mobile phone app called Telegram.
The road traffic officer, of Hordle, Hampshire, added: “I didn’t want to inadvertently destroy my family, which has happened anyway, so the relationship we had, Claire and I, it was compartmentalised as it was and had been for years. It was its own little bubble, a little bubble of niceness.”
Brehmer revealed he was left “depressed” after being assaulted by a motorist in 2015. He “felt like a failure” and could not tell his ”high-flying” wife Martha, a police detective, that he had received counselling.
The officer added: “I had been ragged around like an empty tracksuit, it really kicked my confidence and self-esteem.
“It knocked me and I became very conflict-averse, I didn’t want to go back to the frontline. I had counselling but didn’t tell my wife – it was professional embarrassment. She’s a very intelligent police officer, she is high-flying and I felt I was a failure.”
The defendant also told the court he had been “moonlighting” by carrying out odd jobs to earn “adventure money” to pay for special treats.
The trial continues.