The psychology of firsts – and why they stick in our memories

First love, first kiss, first job, first car … it’s easy to transport yourself back to those heady experiences, even though decades may have passed since they happened. Contrast that with a simple question about what you did last Wednesday … can you honestly remember?

Dr Meik Wiking runs the world’s only Happiness Research Institute in Denmark, and in his latest book, the Art of Making Memories, explores the hold that first experiences have over us.

“First experiences stick better to our memories,” he says. “Several studies show that we are better at remembering the novel and the new, the extraordinary days when we did something different.” This helps to explain why, as we get older, we might have dozens of treasured memories from our youth while our present flashes by with perhaps only a house move and a holiday memory-banked for safekeeping. Wiking refers to this phenomenon as the “reminiscence bump”, AKA “the good old days” – that period from 15-30 that is the source of so many of the stories we tell about ourselves.

“Firsts in my 40s are rarer than when I was 15,” says Wiking, “but that’s why I seek them out now. First experiences are able to stretch the flow of time – they can help stop the feeling that the years are going by quicker and quicker.”

So what exactly is happening in our brains when we go through a first experience? Wiking explains that the novelty of the situation puts our senses on high alert, which in turn makes the memory “stickier” and easier to retrieve. Indeed one British study, cited by Wiking in his book, found that 73% of vivid memories were either first-time experiences or unique events.

“When we’re out of our comfort zone, we make sure we record every aspect of the experience in case we need to retrieve the memory later on,” he says. “For example, we might not know if the situation is safe or dangerous so we open up our senses to pick up all the signs and signals.”

First experiences also serve as building blocks, helping us to construct a solid sense of who we are in the world. Any parent will know how much children love being told the stories of their first steps, or their first trip to the swimming pool. Those moments are insights into identity-building, as kids make sense of how they got to where they are today. As we get older, these “firsts” become bookmarks that distinguish between chapters – who you were before a major breakup, versus who you became, for example.

“Each of us has an ancient and universal human need to be seen and to be remembered,” says Wiking, “and firsts, and changes of scene, play an important role in organising autobiographical memory.”

To avoid the mid-years of your life becoming a depressing blur of chores, childcare and days spent at the same desk, Wiking advocates opening yourself up to new experiences to ensure a steady imprint of new, vivid memories. Memorable grownup firsts can come in all shapes and sizes – from big, bucket-list adventures in far-flung places to practical, domestic endeavours, like hosting your first Christmas or driving your first electric car.

And making these little adjustments not only enriches your own life but will positively affect others too, says Wiking. “One of my biggest ‘a-ha’ moments in writing the book was going from a perception that memory is something random that we don’t control to realising that my memory – and that of my friends and family – is actually something I can influence. Realising ‘I can influence what my friends remember in 10 years’ time’ is very empowering. It makes you want to do new things – and share those experiences with others.”

You’ll always remember your first EV
Unlock the thrill of a game-changing first for yourself with the New Renault ZOE – the ideal first electric car. It can be recharged at more than 10,000 locations across the UK, is cheap to maintain and offers a smooth, relaxed driving experience.

In one car, you will enjoy high-quality tech, dynamic design, and low emission motoring. With its refined finishings in chrome and soft fabric, the interior combines elegance and ergonomic efficiency – and it boasts some seriously impressive tech, including a customisable 10in driver’s display and a 7in or 9.3in multimedia touchscreen.

Via this touchscreen, you will see the area within your driving range and the available charging stations – plus, of course, you’ll be able to manage your route, play your favourite music and change the climate controls.

All these features have helped the New Renault ZOE win an ever-growing list of accolades including the What Car? Best electric car for under £30,000 award for the last six years – as well as more than 60 awards across Europe.

With a range of up to 245 miles*, a free home-charging point with every retail purchase** and prices starting at just £25,670 MRRP, you’ll wonder why you didn’t make the switch sooner. Find out more at renault.co.uk/zoe

* The WLTP figures shown are for comparability purposes. Figures obtained after the battery was fully charged. Actual real world results may vary depending on factors such as weather conditions.

**Homecharger provided and installed by BP Chargemaster PLC and only available for eligible customers. Visit renault.co.uk for full T&Cs.