Yahoo News Quarantine FOMO is real, but this is how to overcome it
If there was one advantage of a government-enforced lockdown (apart from avoiding the rat race), it was the prospect of FOMO being made redundant. With the option of going out taken away from us, we were free from comparison and the guilt of swapping after work drinks for a night on the sofa. But, while the majority of us adjust to the new normal and muddle through finding some form of a daily routine, there's also an abundance of pressure to master self isolation, find a side hustle and make the most of this time to be productive – anything less and you're simply, well, lazy.
As millions of us hunker down and ride out the storm in our cosiest loungewear with a remote in hand, social media is awash with workout diaries, watercolour masterpieces and an entire new-season wardrobe crocheted to perfection. As Liberty London records a 380% increase in sales of sewing accessories and a 228% rise in their sewing kits, Instagram has become a hotbed of productivity guilt as users attempt to fill their days with new skills, leaving a trail of guilty peers in their wake. "There's definitely been a shift in people's feelings lately,” says Lucy Sheridan, the world's first Comparison Coach and author of The Comparison Cure. “Nobody is going on a glamorous date night right now or jet setting off to an exotic location, so the normal triggers for comparison are reduced but there's more of a personal FOMO - or perhaps it’s more frustration of missing out rather than fear. It’s drawing an uncomfortable focus to how much we derive our value from productivity and what we are doing and outputting.”
From learning a new language (subscription-based language learning app Babbel have seen a 50% rise in sales since the outbreak) to baking banana bread (BBC Good Food has reported 7.8 million page views in one day), the pressure is mounting to make the most of our time at home while negotiating new feelings of anxiety and stress about the bigger picture. There's no denying that finding an activity to focus your mind as we self-isolate is positive, but life is challenging enough right now without dealing with guilt that we haven't started learning Italian or are yet to knit a relative a scarf. “Something I have been sharing with my clients is that it may not be ‘business as usual’ but it is a time of ‘business as new normal’,” Lucy explains. “Lots of people are feeling anxious because they are resisting what’s actually happening and the new conditions and parameters that are in place. Kindness with ourselves and a willingness to adapt to a new normal - temporary as it might be - is key to dissolving the feelings of guilt that are coming up right now.”
A post shared by Sophia //mindfulness//fitness (@sophias_happyplace) on Apr 4, 2020 at 12:26am PDT
As we navigate our way through uncertainty, how can we filter out the over-achievers and just...be? “We need to be careful that we don't become obsessed with the now and what is and is not happening for ourselves and others,” Lucy says. “It’s so important to think about the longer game and bigger vision we have for our lives. OK, so some people are thriving right now and they are experiencing a personal season of energy and innovation. Just like any flare that goes up to the sky, it will come down and soon it will be your turn to be the flare on the rise and burning bright.
"A bit of daily, non-negotiable structure is life saving right now," she adds. "For those of us that just want to be, prioritise your self-care and mental health as you continue to rest, restore and adapt. There are no right or wrong answers for you - follow your intuitive nudges and stay radically aware of your own personal needs so you’re connected with yourself and are less distracted by others or social media. Take it day-by-day but use this time to double down on your own values, desires and redefining your own needs and goals – this will fill up our well, making us feel more stable and secure, from there we can stay focused on our own life bubble rather than obsessing over others.”
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