Ricki Lake found it hard to watch herself on 'The X Factor: Celebrity' after post-audition weight loss

Actress Ricki Lake attends the 30th Anniversary Screening of Hairspray presented by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, on July 23, 2018, in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by VALERIE MACON / AFP)        (Photo credit should read VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images)
Actress Ricki Lake attends the 30th Anniversary Screening of Hairspray presented by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, on July 23, 2018, in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by VALERIE MACON / AFP / Getty Images)

Talk show host Ricki Lake has stepped up to take on the challenge of The X Factor: Celebrity, but she found her audition a tough watch.

Since the filming of her first audition back in July, 51-year-old Lake has lost 20lbs in weight and she's said that watching herself back was "hard" for her.

"For me, after we did the show in July, I lost a lot of weight; I lost like 20 pounds, so I’m feeling a lot better than watching myself on screen there," she told Metro.

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Lake explained she was "carrying a lot of grief" in physical weight following on from her husband Christian Evans' death by suicide in 2017.

Ricki Lake is competing on 'The X Factor: Celebrity'. (Syco / Thames)
Ricki Lake is competing on 'The X Factor: Celebrity'. (Syco / Thames)

The mother-of-two went on: "I wanted to come back feeling and looking different, and I feel like I accomplished that.

"It’s like a control thing. The one thing you can control, and it’s empowering for me. And so I just feel a lot better.

"And so watching tonight, though I love the show, I think it’s hilarious and so well done and I’m so happy to be a part of it, it’s hard for me to see myself."

Lake and Evans were married in 2012 before announcing they were to divorce in 2014.

Ricki Lake (R) and Christian Evans arrive at Trevor Live at the Hollywood Palladium on Sunday, Dec. 2, 2012, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)
Ricki Lake (R) and Christian Evans arrive at Trevor Live at the Hollywood Palladium on Sunday, Dec. 2, 2012, in Los Angeles. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

At the time of his death, Lake paid tribute to Evans in a heartfelt post to Instagram, saying he'd "succumbed to his life long struggle with bipolar disorder".

She wrote: "It is with a heavy heart that I share that my beloved soulmate, Christian Evans has passed. The world didn’t understand this man, but I did. He succumbed to his life long struggle with bipolar disorder.

"For anyone who has ever lost a family member or friend to mental illness, my heart goes out to you. I am a greater person for having known him and spent the past 6 and a half years of my life with him.

"He was a man of love and what mends my broken heart today is knowing that he is finally at peace and his spirit is free. Rest in peace, my love."

For confidential emotional support at times of distress, contact The Samaritans at any time by calling 116 123 or emailing jo@samaritans.org.