Yahoo News Rio Ferdinand says he now understands why people consider suicide after the death of his wife Rebecca
Rio Ferdinand has revealed he now understands why people consider suicide after the death of his wife Rebecca.
The former England captain has spoken candidly about losing his 34-year-old wife to breast cancer in 2015 in a new documentary.
He described the difficulties of filling the role of both father and mother for their three young children, and how he came to understand why people consider taking their own lives.
At the beginning, he said, he wondered how he would ever be happy. "I look at my children - and that brings you right back into sadness again because they haven't got a mum," he told the BBC.
"I was never suicidal in my head but this situation brought me to understand people who have suicide thoughts (sic).
But, he added: "I wouldn't do that because I have three beautiful children."
He revealed that his children, Lorenz, nine, Tate, six, and Tia, four, would not talk about the death of their mother until he opened up to them himself.
"I'd been starting conversations with them...and they would just shut me down," he told BBC Radio 4
Ferdinand said a breakthrough came when he started a memory jar for the family which helped the youngsters talk about fond memories of their mother.
The footballer was speaking to Radio 4's Today programme ahead of a documentary about grief on Tuesday evening.
In the programme, called Being Mum and Dad, Ferdinand meets with other widowers who discuss techniques for rebuilding their lives and moving on.
He said he had agreed to make the documentary in order to learn how best to help his children and others who would be dealing with grief.
"I was very ignorant to the idea of seeking help. Having been on this journey, men have to reach out," he said.
In the documentary, Ferdinand also reveals how his wife's death had left him unprepared for the practical side of parenting.
"At the time when Rebecca tried to talk to me about certain things moving forward, if the worst case scenario happened, I kind of used to shut down," he said.
He added that he wished he had been able to discuss his feelings with her to understand her wishes for the future.
The footballer said he would not be drawn on his own relationships, adding he was "disappointed" that there had been speculation about his private life, after recent photos in a tabloid newspaper linked him with a reality TV star.
Being Mum and Dad is on BBC One on Tuesday evening at 9pm.
