Rules, Rants And Toilet Sex – Wedding Guests Share Their Most WTF Stories

Natasha Hinde

Weddings are notoriously divisive. You have lots of different people, many of whom have never met, coming together to celebrate a couple’s love for each other. It’s a carefully-planned (often costly) affair and tensions ride high. There are timings to consider, people to manage, high expectations – and everything must be perfect. 

For guests, they are places where memories are made – but not always for the right reasons. From bad behaviour to flat-out eccentricity and nudity, people have shared their weirdest wedding stories. 

Grab the popcorn. 

[Read More: Is it time to ditch traditional (and expensive) stag and hen dos?]

The Dictator 

“Guests were given a list of rules in advance, including what colours they were allowed to wear and not to address the bride by the groom’s surname. The bride also asked a friend who was deemed ‘less pretty’ than the bridesmaid to model as the bridesmaid in a photo reshoot – because the original bridesmaid allegedly upstaged the bride due to her looks.” - Carolyn

Packed Lunch

“My (ex) husband’s uncle brought his own corned beef sandwiches in tin foil to our wedding. He whipped them out during the wedding breakfast.” - Anon

Singing Solo

“As a bridesmaid I was asked to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to the bride, on stage, in front of 400+ people, under the whale at the Natural History Museum – with about 30 minutes’ notice.” – Elena

[Read More: Wedding guest lists can be a headache – a guide to making them drama-free]

Gross Groom

“Several years ago I was chief bridesmaid at a friend’s wedding. Once the dinner was over and dancing had begun, the groom came over to thank me for being part of the day. He leaned in to kiss me (I was anticipating on the cheek) but swerved, went for the lips and slipped in the tongue.” – Anon

’Til Death Do Us Rant

“My friend’s wedding a couple of years ago was a Catholic ceremony. It was fairly traditional, until the priest started a 15-minute rant about his past inability to love anyone – not even his mother – and that it was only after a 20-year stint of absolute silence that he finally discovered how to love.

“We all thought he’d chosen their wedding ceremony as his chance to come out – it became apparent he meant loving God.” – Alexa

Waste Not 

“I once received a three-page email of wedding instructions including: if you don’t finish your meal, offer your leftovers to others – “no food waste allowed”. Also, the best man gave a 45-minute speech about the bride’s ‘dirty pictures’ (which turned out to be pictures she’d taken of overflowing bins behind restaurants).” – Ellie

More from HuffPost UK Life:


Unfaithful

“I was at my brother’s wedding with my (then) husband. At the reception, I was in the loo when the mother-of-the-bride walked into the toilets with her friend, and promptly told her she’d just had a ‘knee trembler’ with some young good looking lad. Her friend must have noticed the guy in question, because she said “he’s Julie’s new brother-in-law”. 

“Turned out she’d been shagging my husband around the back of the reception hall. Safe to say, we’re not together anymore.” – Anon 

Bring Your Own... Veg?

“On the wedding invitation it said: ‘Please bring a vegetable.’ So all the guests arrived, really dressed up, carrying a courgette or potato. All the veg was chucked in a box in a corner when we sat down – the bride and groom had just wanted to throw everyone.” – Hannah

Free The Nipples

“I went to my cousin’s wedding last summer. The bride and groom were both 23, and getting married early. All was going reasonably well until the couple had their romantic first dance, after which, their friends burst onto the dance floor, took their tops off and started waving them around above their heads. Bear in mind it was a very middle-class type of wedding. Pretty much everyone, including the grandparents, was absolutely horrified.” – Anon

Bucket List Sex

“I was at a destination wedding in France with my husband. He was feeling amorous, so we had terrible sex in a vile toilet (his bucket list, not mine) which resulted in an immediate bout of chronic thrush for the few days that followed the wedding, which ruined our trip. A note on that thrush: it was the itchiest itch that could never be itched.” – Anon

Flying Low

“The singer at my dad’s wedding sang a very passionate/operatic version of ‘Love is all around’ – he became so animated the button on his trousers broke.” – Rachel

Wood Chopping 

“At one of my favourite ever weddings, among several unusual things, there was an effigy of the best man hidden in the woods surrounding the marquee. I’m still not sure why. The wedding was amazing, though. There was a lot of vodka.” –Katie