Sam Smith: When I changed my pronouns, things got complicated

·4-min read

Sam Smith has said things became “complicated” when they changed their pronouns.

The singing star came out as non-binary last year and asked fans to refer to them using the pronouns they/them.

A person who identifies as non-binary does not define themselves exclusively as male or female.

Smith told  Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1: “I think when I first announced my pronouns – I mean look, I’ve always been non-binary. I’ve always felt the way I felt.

“When I changed my pronouns, things got complicated for sure. I felt a need to be presenting all the time. It took time. It took real time.

“My closest around me, my family, my sisters and stuff, they all got it like that and it wasn’t a problem.

“What I’ve learned this year is people don’t like to be wrong, and when people mess up a pronoun or something, they really don’t like it.

“It kind of ruins conversations. It ruins moments. It’s really difficult. So I’ve had to just go into myself and try and deal with it in a real kind way and patience, and just know that everyone’s working on this.

“It’s going to take time. We’re changing a language here. So I’m trying to be patient with it but I have to say right now in my life: I feel – it sounds cliché to say it but I feel so free.

“I feel so unafraid of failure, unafraid of my imperfections. And I just feel I don’t feel a lot of fear at the moment, because I just feel like I could do everything wrong and it would still be okay because I’ve got my own back.

“I really have my own back, and that’s a lovely feeling to feel.”

Smith said their family was very accepting when they came out as gay as a child and said: “I came out when I was 10 years old. And so I was out as a gay person at 10. At 14, I was wearing makeup and female clothing all throughout school.

“So I was so out of the closet for such a long time, that all of that time was loneliness time as well, because I had no one around me that thought like me, who was openly gay around me at all in my life, until I was 19, 20 when I became well-known.

“So I think that was the hole, for sure, was this (feeling of) not being enough. Just that feeling, I think, that all kids have when they’re younger.

“You’re brought up in a world where you’re told that it’s not okay to be what you are. And that’s really, really hard.”

Smith, 28, has now said they would like to have children by the age of 35 and added: “I want all of it. I want to have kids. I want to be with the kids and I want to watch them grow and be with them everyday.

“I want to be mummy. I’m definitely going to do that some point, but I’ve still got more in me.

“I’ve still got ambition. I try and settle it down all the time and play it down, but I’m ambitious and I would still want to sing to people and do this job. It’s an amazing feeling.

“It’s an amazing job to have. Thirty-five is the latest I’m going to have a kid. That’s what I’ve decided.

“So I’m going to work my ass off until then, hopefully find a boyfriend but they’re absolutely nowhere to be found anywhere in London. I’ve been searching all over the place.

“Honestly, I’ve been on the front line now for a good three years and it’s exhausting.”