Santa's Gifts for (Mostly Naughty) Politicians

Yahoo! News asked readers and contributors to play Santa for some U.S. politicians and brainstorm some handy Christmas gifts for them. Below is one reader's recommended wish list.

Santa will arrive early for some American politicians. For those who have been naughty, Santa has some special gifts for them to help them become nice. Here are a few:

Former Representatives Anthony Weiner and Chris Lee

Santa is bringing Weiner and Lee smart phones for Christmas. No, not the cellphones that have all the apps and stream movies. Instead, these are very smart -- as in intelligent -- phones. These cellphones know enough not to take sexy photos of their owners. Both congressmen lost their careers in 2011 in sex scandals involving risque photos.

Former Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Santa is bringing Arnold a really, really thick pair of oven mitts. These will keep Arnold's hands off the help. Schwarzenegger was discovered to be the father of a child with a long time family employee. His wife, Maria Shriver, filed for divorce in 2011 after 25 years of marriage.

President Barack Obama and family

The president and his family were also visited by Santa. He brought them a modest vacation home within one hundred miles of Washington. The self-proclaimed champion of the middle class is noted for taking elaborate and expensive vacations far from the capital. His current getaway in Hawaii is believed to be costing the taxpayers a whopping $4 million.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg

Food is never a bad gift, and Santa has brought New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg a gift basket of fried pork rinds. Bloomberg is campaigning to force New Yorkers to eat better, with eliminating trans fat use in local restaurants and proposing a ban on the use of food stamps to purchase soda pop.

Herman Cain

Cain suspended his Republican presidential campaign after a series of sexual accusations involving women surfaced throughout 2011. Santa brought Cain a set of suspenders for the campaign, size 9-9-9.

Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney

Santa thought long and hard about what he could bring these two Republican presidential contenders. He decided to give them real first names. From now on, it will be Bob Gingrich and Sam Romney.

All the Republican Presidential Candidates

Santa was fed up. His gift to the Republicans is an end to the seemingly never ending series of presidential candidate debates. That is also his gift to the American people this Christmas.