'All they can see is hate and anger and red mist' - judge's stern words to dad who strangled his ex in a car
A dad strangled the mother of his child while the pair travelled together in a car, a court heard.
Aaron McFayden, 34, grabbed the woman by the throat during a row on April 4, 2024. Preston Crown Court heard McFayden, of Fir Trees Close, Preston, had "been on a bender" of drink and drugs and may have had the residual effects when he assaulted the woman. At the time of the attack, the couple's child was also in the car and witnessed the attack on his mum.
McFayden pleaded guilty to strangulation - later telling a probation officer he was extremely sorry and would like help with his drink and drugs issues. He has also struggled with the disappointment of being unable to follow his dream of becoming a professional footballer, the court heard.
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Sentencing, Judge Guy Mathieson said: "I know you have struggled to come to terms with this and the issues that have arisen, but you are not a kid anymore. You are a man, a father, someone with commitments and work commitments - but also someone with problems with drink and drugs who then inflicts the consequences of that on those you purport to love.
"The root cause of all of this is you. Nobody else can make you change. Nobody else can help you address these things if you want to bury yourself in the bottom of a pint glass or by taking drugs. Treating your victim in the way you did on that occasion is appalling for a variety of reasons. The obvious one is that she had done nothing wrong. This was all because you had gone on a bender.
"The grabbing of someone's throat is particularly terrifying for a victim, because they look into the eyes of someone who loved them, or used to love them, and all they see now is hate and anger and red mist - yet they can do nothing about it except fear the worst and hope that you might snap out of it before the worst happens.
"On top of all this, you did all this in front of your son. That will forever change his view of his dad, someone he should look up to, someone he should emulate. He will now forever have at the back of his mind the vision of you attacking his mum."
The court heard the couple are separated, however McFayden has remained in contact with his child. He has not committed any further offences since his arrest, however he has previous convictions for violence.
Judge Mathieson said: "There were admissions and guilty pleas and acceptance of the wrong you had done. So many people in your position chose the opposite approach, knowing the weak spots of their victim, knowing the buttons to press, knowing that chances are they will forgive you and maybe forget. You haven't done that, and that is significant. Okay. One chance."
He handed down a sentence of 18 momths suspended for two years and ordered McFayden to carry out 25 days rehabilitation activity requirements, 120 hours of unpaid work and a Building Better Relationships program.
He accepted the defendants case that he was willing to accept responsibility and work with the Probation Service to address his issues, but warned: "This will hang over you for two years. If you commit another offence, particularly of this nature, you are condemning yourself to prison."