The ‘Shitty Media Men’ list? We’re asking all the wrong questions about it | Helen Gould

Last week, amid the clamour of yet another high-profile man being accused of sexual abuse (and another industry exposed as complicit), a controversial document was shared.

The spreadsheet, titled “SHITTY MEDIA MEN”, gathered a list of names: the names of men who were alleged to have done everything from inappropriate flirting to physical violence.

The claims were unsubstantiated and the file has since been made private; but why does such a list exist, and why would someone share it?

First, it is crucial to acknowledge that sexual harassment, assault, and rape are absolutely everywhere. The media is not alone in this issue, nor is Hollywood. It is in politics, businesses, schools, and families; it is even in supposedly radical left spaces.

As with so many other things, just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not happening. The nature of abuse often requires that it is hidden from others to maintain plausible deniability, making it impossible to tell who is an abuser until they abuse you.

To put it simply, it is most likely that this spreadsheet was made in the interests of safety.

These types of list are hidden, but they exist everywhere. However, they are normally not written down and shared through a Google doc; instead, they are passed on through word of mouth or private social media groups or chats.

There are many reasons why employees don’t use the formal process to report inappropriate behaviour in the workplace, even if they are lucky enough to be working in an organisation with a functional HR department. Fear of reprisal, of not being believed, of “overreacting”, of nothing happening at all – these are all sadly valid concerns. This is especially true when the abuser is more senior. And as harassment and assault so often take place in private, the evidence that is usually required for a complaint to be taken to disciplinary is just not there.

But lack of evidence does not mean the same thing as innocence; and contrary to the beliefs of a sizeable minority, people do not usually fabricate accusations like these. It is highly improbable that this was done out of spite or to harm anyone’s career, and given that anyone could add to it anonymously, there is no financial or social gain to be made.

So. If someone is assaulted in their workplace – or anywhere – what can they do when they know that the processes they are supposed to follow don’t work? They make their own.

This usually means people who have been victimised passing a warning on to others who might be put in the same position. A whisper network develops which tells you how to protect yourself and who from. When a new person who could be vulnerable joins the community, they are quietly informed of the issue as well. This advice can include everything from avoiding after-work drinks with the person to only communicating via email to not being in one-to-one meetings with them.

This spreadsheet was a similar informal safety measure that was created because nothing else was working. The difference is that it was loud about it. It had much the same effect as a person standing up in an office and shouting “X, Y, and Z are abusive!”

But instead of wondering why so many names were added to such a list and what could be done about it, concern turns to the careers of the men named (whether guilty or not) and accusations of vigilantism. However, on the whole, men – and it is usually men – who behave terribly often do not experience severe consequences for it. For instance, many celebrities have hit the headlines with hideous assault allegations only to walk away without many serious repercussions.

This is not just because they are celebrities; it is because abusers in general benefit from rape culture, which prioritises blaming the victim rather than finding justice. So if your name was on the list, but you are in fact innocent, there is likely not much to worry about. The way the system works tends to be far worse for the person making the accusation.

What this list changed was the power dynamics, which most corporate structures do not really take into account – generally because the imbalance of power suits them just fine. When I work as a facilitator, I always pay attention to the power dynamics expressed through who is speaking and who is not; who gets interrupted; who gets dismissed.

This spreadsheet attempted to take control of the narrative by speaking out and rebalancing the power differential that has led to such an ingrained culture of silence; it refused to be dismissed and could not be interrupted. That is part of what made it uncomfortable reading.

Of course it raised all kinds of moral and legal questions; but the impulse behind it is entirely understandable. It should make us consider how to make our communities safer and destroy the culture that leads to people getting away with abuse.

That work starts with dismantling the power imbalances of sexism, racism, homophobia, ableism, and many more forms of oppression that are inherent in western society and which protect abusers. It starts with listening when people start to shout, as they did with this document. It should have started centuries ago; but the next best time is now.

• Helen Gould is a writer, speaker and facilitator