‘I shut the front door and woke up in hospital - These are the 3 things I wish I’d known’
A university student mowed down when a vehicle mounted the pavement, sending him flying and smashing into the concrete, was left knocked out and only found out what happened from his friend. It started a journey to recovery almost five years long, which has involved both his physical and mental injuries that completely turned his world around. Now, the 26-year-old has shared the things he wishes he had known at the time in the hope of helping others.
Speaking during Road Victim Awareness Month, the RoadPeace ambassador recounted his story, admitting that most of it is second-hand as his memory of that day largely consists of “shutting the front door and waking up in hospital”. On the evening of November 15, 2019 Laurie was walking to gym with a friend when they heard “tyres squeaking and an engine accelerating” at the bottom of their residential road.
The Coventry University student was hit by a car at around 50 miles per hour, while his friend was able to escape the collision unscathed and he admits with a chuckle that they both found it “topical” as Laurie was studying a disaster management degree. Laurie shared, from what his friend recalls of the day: “The car mounted the pavement and hit me, sending me over the car and hitting the pavement. I lost consciousness and the car that hit me continued up the road, briefly stopped, before then driving off to never be seen again. I was treated at the scene, regained consciousness after a few minutes and went to hospital.”
With a fractured skull, severe concussion, soft tissue injuries and intense damage to his hip joint, Laurie completely understood he was “very fortunate to be alive and that my friend wasn’t also injured too”. He harrowingly admits: “At that speed they don’t talk about (survival) statistics, just death.”
The police weren’t able to track down the driver and while Laurie’s physical health recovered steadily, only time could tell what the extent of the cognitive damage was. For the most part, his functions have all returned bar some memory issues as he still has “blank spots” from the months following the collision. In a somewhat lucky turn of events, the Covid lockdowns saw Laurie surrounded by support as he was living with his parents and family.
However, one of the first things Laurie wishes he had known at the time of the collision is where to turn for help. Even to this day, while he knows people have good intentions, he said: “I still find that people don’t know how to react when I tell them what I’ve been through.”
He explained: “I wish at the time I had known how to speak to someone who’s been through something similar and had that disruption. Shutting the door to your house and waking up in hospital, can happen to anyone and it’s really difficult to come to terms with that. I really struggled with speaking to people, not because I wasn’t comfortable but I thought people wouldn’t understand. That’s a normal trauma response but having someone who’s able to say; ‘Look, you’re going to have good days, you’re going to have bad days’. That would’ve been beneficial.
“There’s not a great deal of support. It sort of happened and it was down to me to see my GP for a follow up, there’s no real signposting, something we could do better not just for road traffic but for everything traumatic. I wish I’d known RoadPeace was out there and it’s befriending service.
“I think it would’ve helped me rationalise the way I was reacting. Make it feel as if it was normal. They also would’ve helped me learn how to process trauma and things like that, they’re building support groups as well. Just generally the helpline being able to signpost you to practical guidance.”
Laurie now volunteers as part of RoadPeace’s befriending service, where people who have been injured or bereaved as a result of a road collision can speak to others who have suffered the same trauma. The charity also signposts and guides victims and their loved ones through the next steps which aren’t as widely known, such as the Motors Insurers Bureau.
Laurie was eager to highlight this lesser-known support, saying: “If you’re involved in an uninsured road traffic collision, there is a compensation scheme set up by the government called the Motors Insurers Bureau (MIB). The MIB helped me in arranging medical appointments and ultimately in awarding compensation. It serves an important role but it is a long winded, slow process.”
One final aspect Laurie says he wished he had known earlier, although perhaps not right after the collision, is the possibility that he might never be “normal” again. He explained: “I held onto an idea for a long time that I’d go back to the way I was. That was a hurdle to being at peace and accepting the state I was in. What I’d wish I’d known is recovery is a journey and you don’t know where you’re going to end up. You need to accept that this has happened and you don’t know where you’re going. Once you do that, I think it makes it a lot easier to come to terms with.”
While Laurie suffers some mobility and lifestyle issues due to his hip injury, memory problems, and admittedly some survivor’s guilt, he shared some words of optimism for others revealing that there are ways to recover and manage your experience. He has an intrinsic attitude of gratuity: “Knowing how much worse the outcome could have been, I feel very fortunate to still be able to do some things I used to do.”