Sketch: Assassin Dominic Cummings exacts his revenge on Boris

·1-min read
<p>Former number 10 special advisor Dominic Cummings speaking to MPs at the committee hearing </p> (PRU/AFP via Getty Images)

Former number 10 special advisor Dominic Cummings speaking to MPs at the committee hearing

(PRU/AFP via Getty Images)

Today Dominic Cummings made an epic comeback with a blockbuster all about revenge. Think Kill Bill with Uncle Fester in the starring role.

The opening scene sent gasps across Whitehall as our grimacing anti-hero launched into an apology for government failures.

“When the public needed us most the Government failed. I would like to say to all the families of those who died unnecessarily how sorry I am for the mistakes that were made and for my own mistakes at that,” he told MPs as his voice near cracked.

Within seconds a well-rehearsed assassin was slashing into the government’s “hollow” pandemic preparations. Nations “completely failed” to see the “smoke” warnings about the pandemic in January last year, he stressed.

Private text messages with Health Secretary Matt Hancock were exposed along with critical conversations at the heart of No10.

But it was his attacks on his former boss Boris Johnson that the audience had been waiting for. Their bitter feud was publicly laid bare when the maverick adviser claimed the PM originally thought covid was like “swine flu” and did not need to cause concern.

He suggested Mr Johnson had even considered being injected with coronavirus by chief medical officer Professor Chris Whitty to prove it was not that serious.

Likening the government’s preparation as like an “out of control movie”, he was still skewering the government as this paper went to print. Villain or anti-hero. You decide.

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