We stayed in a lodge at one of the UK's most popular holiday parks with UNLIMITED buffets and all inclusive drinks
Before he makes his glamorous assistant disappear as she inexplicably floats high above the Studio 36 stage, TV's Stephen Mulhern waxes a bit lyrical about Butlin's Skegness.
'Butlin's is a special place', he tells the audience, explaining how he started his career as a Red Coat in Lincolnshire. What it means for him to be back - this time as one of primetime television's most recognisable faces - is clear.
The resort has a special place in British holiday-time consciousness. Almost everyone has a Butlin's or Butlin's-adjacent story - it's regarded with a special kind of affection, people visit and re-visit every year. For the cost-conscious family on a budget it has been providing affordable getaways since 1936.
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The first site that William Heygate Edmund Colborne Butlin (Billy is easier) launched was Skegness and it remains the jewel in the crown of the holiday camp empire. Today, it's a huge development. Sprawling over 200 acres, with over 1,000 apartments, the resort sees a staggering 400,000 visitors pass through the gates every year.
In a crowded UK holiday market Butlin's still offers something appealing 90 years after Billy broke ground in Ingoldmells.
To stay competitive Butlin's has had to move with the times - constantly reinventing parts of the resort to tempt new converts to make that initial visit. Billy would be astonished and delighted by what it has become.
A different way to do your Butlin's adventure
The latest offering at Butlin's Skegness is new accommodation.
It's worth saying at this point that a Butlin's holiday is in general pretty full-on. There's a lot to do, a lot of people around - at times it can feel like a test of endurance rather than a relaxing break. But it doesn't have to be that way.
For those that actually want a bit more of a chilled experience Butlin's Skegness is now offering some more sedate and peaceful accommodation a bit away from the action.
My family and I were trying out the brand-new premium lodges in the newly developed Maple Walk area. Set amongst landscaped gardens, a short walk from the Skyline Pavilion (the centre of the site), are 128 detached lodges offering some respite from the craziness of the main resort area.
The lodges are lovely, clean, spacious and well-appointed with all the mod-cons.
Ours, number four, had three bedrooms - one with a large double bed and en-suite bathroom, and two other smaller rooms with two single beds. There was also an additional bathroom with a shower, a fully-equipped kitchen with a full size fridge freezer, private decking with patio furniture and parking for two cars.
Billy and Bonnie Butlin bears greeted us on arrival along with a variety of Butlin's themed goodies and crucially some wine for the grown-ups - which was an essential touch.
In short the lodges have everything you'd want as a base to explore the huge site - the convenience of easy walking access to the resort, but in calmer and more peaceful surroundings.
Everyone slept well, and not just because we were run off our feet all day.
The greatest phrase in the English language - 'unlimited buffet'
The particular part of the Lincolnshire coast of the North Sea that Skegness occupies is well worth exploring, but part of the appeal of a Butlin's holiday is that you can park up and forget about venturing outside of the site at all.
Everything you need is right on your doorstep. There are, for instance, a bewildering variety of options for places to eat and drink on the resort site.
My family and I were trying out the Premium Dining Plan, which includes all you can eat breakfast and dinner options. If there's a finer phrase in the English language than 'unlimited buffet' then I'm yet to discover it.
Salad bars, grill stations with made-to-order burgers, unlimited tea, coffee and fruit juices and a range of vegetarian and vegan options, means there's something for everyone.
They also have themed nights featuring Italian, India, Korean and Mexican options depending on the day. We particularly enjoyed the piri-piri chicken, stir fry pork chilli noodles, vegetable stir fry, spaghetti Bolognese and the wide range of desserts, especially the lemon meringue roulade which I could have eaten a bucket of.
The food is plentiful, hot and very tasty and the staff were very helpful.
With regards to allergens the food is all carefully and clearly labelled and we found the staff very helpful when asking questions about items that included gluten.
As the dining is from a buffet, it's impossible to avoid allergen contamination, but the staff we asked were very happy to cook items directly from the kitchen for my son who has coeliac disease. A shout out for the gluten-free bread, which he described as the best ever - high praise indeed.
The premium dining locations we were allocated were The Deck and the Yacht Club restaurants inside the Skyline Pavilion in the centre of the resort, and generally we were pleased with what we got.
A note of caution however, the restaurants get incredibly busy, so try to avoid peak times and be strategic about when you go to get your meal - there was sometimes a shortage of places to sit and big queues to get into the dining room and then queues for food once you were in.
If you fancy a change of pace there are also a number of restaurants and takeaways on the site including Rock & Sole fish and chips, Burger King, Papa Johns, the Firehouse Grill, the Beachcomber Inn and an American-style diner.
We tried out the diner and had a thoroughly good meal featuring made to order burgers, dirty fries, delicious wings and tasty desserts - it's well worth a visit.
During our trip we also tried out the all-inclusive drinks package. From £25 per adult, per day, you can get all the alcoholic, soft and hot drinks you want during your stay at a range of restaurants and bars across the resort.
Pure entertainment - all day, everyday
As you stroll into the main resort from Maple Walk you pass through a tunnel under the main road into Skegness, it has the words - 'Butlin's - the home of entertainment' written on it - and this sums up what the resorts are most famous for.
There are a huge range of things to do and see during your stay, from climbing walls, to go-karting and crazy golf to more sedate activities like designing your own T-shirt and painting plant pots and swimming in the huge pool.
Some of the activities you have to pay for and some are free. It's vital to get things booked in nice and early, as if it rains things fill up very quick.
A big hit with my family was the Butlin's SKYPARK. This adventure playground, which opened in April 2023, has three climbing towers, tunnel slides and interactive games all set in six different zones 'celebrating positive play emotions'.
Expect to be dragged there regularly by your kids, and with it open until 10pm every evening during the summer holidays you might want to take a chair. As well as the pre-booked activities we also spent some time on the beach, which you can access from the resort and a lot of time in the Skyline Pavilion playing on the arcades.
It's not all go-go-go though. If you want to put your feet up and watch a show there are a range of performances available to see. The highlight for our family was Stephen Mulhern's 'Beyond Belief' magic and comedy show. There is also plenty of entertainment for little ones with 'Peppa's circus celebration' and PJ Masks and others.
You won't be short of things to do or watch.
A more relaxing option
Butlin's is full-on, it's a busy, noisy, exciting experience in the main resort - bustling with activity and fun - kids love it and you can see why people return year after year.
You know you're not going to be sat in your accommodation debating what you should do that day. Come rain or shine there is so much to occupy kids and adults alike you can end up being really busy. It's an energising and fun experience with lots to do and great staff (more Red Coats though please).
With Maple Walk, however, Butlin's Skegness now has some stunning accommodation a little away from the action, a place where you can rest your weary head after chasing the kids around the resort all day.
A manic fun-filled entertainment extravaganza with a relaxed woodland holiday camp feel and top-class entertainment. It's a trick that would impress even a Stephen Mulhern audience.
Holiday fact file
Rob Williams stayed as a guest in a premium lodge in Maple Walk at Butlin's resort Skegness.
A three-night stay for four people in a premium lodge in the middle of August starts at £588 for two bedrooms and £734 for three bedrooms. A standard room at the resort at the same time starts at £339. In terms of disabled access, two of the 128 new lodges are fully accessible.
The premium dining package costs £33.90 per adult, per day, £20.30 per child (6-14), per day and £10.15 per child (2-5). The all-inclusive drinks packages cost £25 per adult, per day.