'Strictly Come Dancing tougher than Celebrity SAS? Pete Wicks must be joking'
After this year's Celebrity SAS, I'd be surprised if the trainees aren't suffering with PTSD.
I know Essex geezer Pete Wicks likes a giggle and is famous for being a bit of a wind-up merchant, so we must assume he was having a laugh with the Loose Women ladies earlier this month when he told them that Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins is less of a challenge for contestants than Strictly Come Dancing is.
"Strictly is the toughest by far," Wicks said. "I did Celebrity SAS twice and Strictly is harder. It's more intense, and it's so far out of my comfort zone."
Of course, Pete may also have been having a pop at his old SAS tormentors from afar, safe in the knowledge that it’s unlikely he will have to face them for a third time. All I know is that I’ve never heard of a Strictly contestant being forced into a cage on a freezing mountainside to have ice cold buckets of water thrown over their hooded heads.
Then again, I haven’t read the full details of the recent Strictly investigation into behind-the-scenes bullying — so I could be wrong.
Also, I know Anton du Beke and the other Strictly judges can drone on a bit at times, but you can’t really compare that to being locked in a hut where you are forced to endure baby screams and the old internet dial-up soundtrack at full volume all night. From the outside, I can think of just one aspect of Strictly that is harder than Who Dares Wins. Strictly is live in front of seven million people every week.
That not only means that there are no second takes or edits, but it also exposes the contestants to the intense social media scrutiny that follows every show — and that has arguably increased this year.
With the few days Wynne Evans has just had, if you were to ask him which show he’d rather be doing right now, he might be tempted to swap his dance shoes and fake tan for some hiking boots and a mud wash.
The cage and iced-water surprise was the terrifying fate that befell one of this year’s finalists, former Love Islander Georgia Harrison. What made it worse was the fact that her fellow survivor, boxer Lani Daniels, was the one doing the dunking.
It was the climax of quite possibly the most brutal episode in the celebrity version’s six series history. The mental and physical onslaught that the contestants went through was enough to give viewers PTSD, never mind the contestants themselves.
I’d love to see the small print on Channel 4’s contracts for this programme. It must just be one long list of waivers and disclaimers. No wonder so many of the initial 15 decided to hand in their armband during the gruelling process. Honestly, there were more quitters here than in an NHS stop smoking support group.
Okay, calling them quitters is perhaps a bit unfair. If I’d broken some ribs (Rachel Johnson) or opened up my breast implant scars (Marnie Simpson) I might have been tempted to think that maybe this SAS lark wasn’t for me after all. As dramatic as some of their injuries were, none of the contestants quite managed to match the thrill of John Barrowman’s early exit on the very first day.
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That headline-making departure so incensed the SAS staff they were still moaning about it on This Morning ahead of this week’s finale, even accusing Barrowman of simply throwing the towel in the minute he realised there was no well-stocked 'green room' in camp. I must admit I did laugh at that line. However, given what we witnessed following Barrowman’s goodbye, I’m actually starting to think he should be proud that he lasted a full 32 minutes in the first place.
It was a shame that he couldn’t stick it out a little longer though. If he was watching the final, I’m sure he would have been feeling somewhat envious of Harrison and Daniels, who made it all the way to the end and received the ultimate prize of passing the course.
Who knows, it may even have relit a fire in his belly. Let’s face it, if he does feel that he has unfinished business, he wouldn’t be the worst booking Channel 4 could make in the future. I’d probably give TOWIE’s Bobby Norris another go too. He was smashing it until he smashed his shoulder up in the mud wrestling.
As for the finalists, given the high profile nature of the revenge porn court case Harrison went through last year, it was understandable that most viewers were rooting for her to emerge triumphant. That’s not to underplay Daniels’s achievement, although perhaps it wasn’t too much of a surprise that she toughed it out to the bitter end. As SAS instructor Mark “Billy” Billingham pointed out, her boxing training camps usually consist of her spending weeks in a single room with only a bath for company.
The fact that Harrison and Daniels were joined in the final three by another woman, Bianca Gascoigne, did not go unnoticed by the SAS staff — although you may wonder why they found it so remarkable. The truth is four female celebrities had passed the course in the previous five series.
So I was quite surprised to hear Jason “Foxy” Fox admitting that this year’s show "has shown me that women are f***ing tough."
You need to check your notes, Foxy. With Georgia Harrison and Lani Daniels adding their names to the list, that makes the current score 7-6 to the men. You know, just in case next year’s show needed a little extra spice.
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins is streaming on Channel 4.