How to be a stylish mother of the bride

Carole Middleton has, perhaps unwittingly, become a pin-up for great mother of the bride style; her duck egg blue, Catherine Walker & Co. coat dress was deemed a global hit at the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s wedding in 2011 and she turned to the tried-and-tested formula once again earlier this month for the wedding of younger daughter Pippa Middleton to James Matthews, opting for a coat dress by the same designer. 

So if you have your own mother of the bride moment coming up, what style tips can you learn from Mrs Middleton? Here's how to dress for your daughter (or son's) wedding in style...

Consult your daughter

According to the experts, the first thing that Middleton got right was that she took the time to coordinate with others in the bridal party. “The marriage of a child is a life milestone, a family gathering, and a cause for major celebration but it’s also a heavily photo-documented day, which makes choosing a look all the more important,” considers Lorna Perrin, Brand Director at L.K.Bennett, the British label that the Middleton sisters have come to rely on for many occasionwear numbers over the years.

“Talk over the options with your daughter and how she envisions your look, to ensure the outfit compliments the style of the wedding and the colour scheme.”

Check with the rest of the wedding party

Any mother of the bride or groom should also talk to their counterpart, as you neither want to completely contrast, or actively match with the in-laws.

“The main rule is to coordinate with the mother of the groom so you don’t turn up in very similar looks and ideally not in the same colour,” advises Katherine Hooker, the bespoke womenswear designer who has also dressed the Duchess of Cambridge. “And don’t wear white. It is important to try a variety of different shapes and styles as everybody is different. Our custom-made service is very popular, as it ensures the absolute perfect fit.”​

Don't try to be on trend

Avoiding trends, Perrin agrees, is the wisest move of all that a MoB could make, advising that you choose something that is classic and flattering over anything distinctly ‘this season.’

“Choosing a mother of the bride outfit is so individual that it surpasses trends,” she says, “The important thing is to radiate confidence and stay true to your personal style. Expand your search to flattering styles that can be worn for future events, styled with new accessories to give you a new look.”

"The L.K.Bennett Evie jacket is a short tailored style that accentuates the waistline over a structured dress," says Perrin. Jacket, £225, lkbennett.com

“If you don’t know what shapes and colours suit you then ask a designer for advice,” says  Said Cyrus, co-founder and head of design at Catherine Walker & Co., who dressed Carole for both her daughters' weddings. “Leave plenty of time – 6 months is not too soon to start looking.”

Cyrus adds that a coat dress, like the bespoke, braid-trimmed pieces he has made for Carole, may be any mother of the bride’s best friend, as the silhouette is easy, yet sophisticated.

The Duchess of Cambridge wears a bespoke Melrose coatdress, price on application, from Catherine Walker & Co.

“We don’t usually suggest a jacket, as our coatdresses present a single, elongated look which we think is more elegant,” he says. “Our coatdresses are made by skilled tailors and in photographs their strong silhouettes work well at every angle. The most popular styles are our Melrose Coatdress [a style that the Duchess of Cambridge has worn] worn with the Florence Dress or the Melrose Dress. For a more relaxed wedding, our Ballerina Dress and Bow Coat have been very popular.”

Don't count on warm weather

All of the experts agree that an outer layer of some sort is essential for a British wedding, and that in most cases a structured jacket looks more modern than a pashmina.

Margot crepe dress, £995, Roksanda at Net-A-Porter

“You can never guarantee warm weather,” says Hooker, advising that you should consider the different locations that your outfit will need to see you through. “Lots of clients want a jacket for the church and for the evening when it gets colder, but they want to be able to take off their top layer to hit the dance floor and still feel complete.”

Your hat is the most important (if you decide to wear one)

Hats, too, can present conundrums, as MoBs tackle the much-Googled question of whether or not they’re compulsory (Debrett’s says they’re traditional, not essential) as well as styling queries like whether they must match the rest of an ensemble.

Milliner Jess Collett has the last word on this, explaining that hat-makers should give you their full and undivided attention in the design process as, actually, the mother of the bride is the most important wedding client for a milliner.

“The Queen didn’t match her [hat] to her suit at Ascot last year and it looked great,” she says of the matching myth. “A mother of the bride’s hat must look good all the way round. She always needs to think about the back view, as she’ll be sitting at the front in the church.”