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Sunak vs Glasgow City Council: Whose bin stories are the bigger pile of rubbish?

Glaswegians are threatening fires in back gardens <i>(Image: Newsquest)</i>
Glaswegians are threatening fires in back gardens (Image: Newsquest)

What's that, you ask? Yet more rubbish?

It certainly is. This week Rishi Sunak has been spouting absolute nonsense about saving British households from the scourge of living with seven recycling bins.

(Sidenote: It's not onerous to put your empties in the glass bin. Just do it. Onerous is living in 40 degree heat and fleeing your coastal community as it's swallowed by rising tides.)

News from Glasgow City Council has added further fodder to a flurry of bin-based headlines as the local authority announced the start of a £50 charge for brown bin uplift.

Let's unpick it: "start" is the key word there, because this ain't new.

The council says it needs the money, basically. Glasgow City Council has had to rustle up an extra £50 million to cover a funding gap so proposed (and agreed) this measure back in the budget in February.

As is the way with so many things - I'm thinking Low Emissions Zone here, Gender Recognition Reform - topics are discussed at length, agreed on and then at the eleventh hour folk take the hump and start paying attention.

So households with brown bins - which are used for garden waste - will need to pay £50 a year for a pickup permit.

No sticker, no collection.

The sticker doesn't go with you when you move house so if you relocate halfway into a brown bin permit year then there will be no refund.

Numbers-wise, there are around 295,000 households in Glasgow and the council told The Herald that around 118,000 households have a brown bin so that's a high percentage of potential for fly-tipping anarchy.

The council has said: "A significant majority of households in Glasgow do not receive a garden waste service and they have effectively subsidised the service until now."

Which is a fairly dense argument to make. If you follow it to its logical conclusion then I would, please, like a refund on the "nursery provision" portion of my council tax because I don't have children.

One of my friends doesn't like going out at night so she'll have a refund on the street lighting proportion, please.

Arguing against subsidisation is an argument against paying tax, which is a bold one for the local authority to be making.

The council also says: "We think it's fair those who have brown bins for garden waste make a direct contribution, which will support the delivery of the service and protect other services in the longer term."

Makes a garden sound a little like a luxury item, which is a sad state of affairs.

The Scottish Fire and Rescue Service likely won't be arranging contingency plans just yet but disgruntled Glaswegians are saying they'll simply burn their garden waste instead.

I'd like to opt out of subsiding an emergency response to these people's homes should the wind change.

Others are saying they'll put their garden waste in a white bag and pretend it's food waste, which I guess you'll get away with as long as your hedge trimmings rountinely only take up the same volume as some egg shells and a banana skin.

Otherwise, how much food are you usually wasting?

Yet others - for the sake of saving £50 - are going to creep out in the dead of night and put their garden waste in neighbours' bins, which is just so idiotic I'll leave them to chat it over with Mr Sunak.

Listen, I have an allotment and when we need to bin anything that's unsuitable for the compost heap it requires a trip to the dump.

Instead of screwing your neighbours, team up with them and take turns to remove your garden waste.

It will save you all the 50 quid and improve community spirit - win/win.

Collections for those without a permit will stop from November so we have just over a month before neighbourhood dust ups, a spike in wilful fire-raising and an overrun of fly tipping.

Glasgow, dear, green, lovely Glasgow. Never change.