Yahoo News Teen Mom 2 's Kailyn Lowry Cries as She Reflects on 'Toxic' Relationship with Ex Chris Lopez
mtv Kailyn Lowry
Kailyn Lowry is opening up about the "red flags" she ignored in her relationship with ex Chris Lopez.
The mother of four spoke about Lopez on Tuesday night's episode of Teen Mom 2 in which she revealed to MTV cameras that she was expecting her fourth child, son Creed. (PEOPLE previously confirmed Lowry gave birth to Creed on July 30.)
"Chris's aunt decided to post a photo of my ultrasound on social media, which obviously went viral. I haven't really said anything publicly about it," Lowry told cameras before adding, "I'm pregnant."
She continued, "I have not talked to Chris, I don't talk to him. He has been in and out of jail. I think what has transpired over the last few months between Chris and I has just been so eye-opening."
RELATED: Teen Mom 2's Kailyn Lowry Says 'There's No Co-Parenting' with Ex Chris Lopez
"I know that people will have a ton of questions and are wondering how I could have gone back to someone like that," Lowry said as she began to cry. "I think there's a lot to be said that I haven't really talked about in a relationship where domestic violence is there and where it's just really toxic. I'm still trying to figure that stuff out."
Lopez and Lowry already share a 3-year-old son Lux Russell. The MTV star also has older sons, Isaac Elliot, 10, and Lincoln Marshall, 6, from previous relationships.
"As of right now, I have no intentions of including Chris in anything, and so going into this [pregnancy] knowing that he won't be there at all is really scary," Lowry said.
Earlier in the episode, Lowry sat with her sons as Lincoln asked his mother why he did not have a stepfather. His older brother, Isaac, explained to Lincoln that their mother and Lopez were no longer together, saying, "They broke up."
"I thought you said you loved Chris?" Lincoln asked his mom. Lowry replied, "I do." When Lincoln asked if they had separated because she no longer liked Lopez, Isaac said, "Well, they're just taking time away from each other for a little while."
Lowry told MTV cameras she was aware her oldest son had "picked up on some of the things that have gone on in my personal life because he's asked me about them."
"There's a lot of things going on that I'm dealing with privately and trying to work through in counseling," she said. "I don't feel happy. I don't feel good. I don't feel like I'm being a good mom."
As she began to cry, Lowry added, "I think I let certain people into my life knowing that they were toxic and I ignored a lot of red flags, and I think I let them stay too long to the point where I lost myself."
Lopez did not immediately respond to PEOPLE's request for comment.
Lowry told PEOPLE in August she was nervous to watch the latest season of the reality series.
"The first half of the season, I had a really, really, really hard time with my pregnancy and just trying to keep it a secret," she said. "So I was struggling with that."
Lowry also revealed that she had considered an abortion — something she has openly discussed on camera.
"I just didn't know if I was going to have this baby or terminate the pregnancy," she said. "I went to an abortion appointment. I definitely talked about that."
Lowry explained that while she always knew she wanted another child, the "circumstances" she was facing weren't quite what she imagined. The reality star and her youngest child's father, Lopez, have had an on-off relationship for years.
And while she knows she might face some criticism for sharing her story, she hopes fans will understand the complexities of the situation.
RELATED: Teen Mom 2 Star Kailyn Lowry Welcomes Her Fourth Child
"I'm just nervous that people are going to be like, 'Why would you ever admit that you did that on TV for everyone to see?' " she said. "Not everything is black and white, not everything is cut and dry. So I hope that people understand the thought process and the pain that I was going through."
Despite the difficult pregnancy, Lowry said she's happy with her decision.
"I'm happy he's here," she said. "I love him so much."
As for her relationship with Lopez, Lowry said the two don't have "any communication."
"I just want to focus on trying to parent four kids by myself, because clearly, I don't have his help in that," she said.
Teen Mom 2 airs on MTV Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.
