Advertisement

The Best Festival Horror Stories Of All Time

image

The summer festival season is in full swing, and in honour of our official Creamfields live stream (yaaaaasss #EDM) starting August 28th we’ve decided to remind you just how gross festivals can be.

Everyone expects to get muddy, cold and a little bit covered in wee over a big festival weekender, but these horror stories take it to the next level. Don’t do drugs, kids! And don’t EVER stick your head down a Portaloo…

1) Poo Girl

… Which leads us to probably the WORST festival horror story of all time. Even if you’ve never been to a festival in your life, you’ve probably heard of the infamous Poo Girl (AKA 18-year-old Charlotte Taylor) who fell face first into the toilets at Leeds Festival in 2009. She made newspaper headlines, and even has her own entry on Urban Dictionary.

image

[thesun.co.uk]

So how is it possible to wedge yourself face-first down a portable toilet? Well, after dropping her bag containing phone, purse and ticket down into the long drop, Charlotte stretched through the hole after it with both hands. Before realising she was stuck at the hips and left dangling face-first into a pit of poo, wee and god knows what else.

Luckily, her friend raised the alarm with firefighters who (after they accepted that, no, she wasn’t joking) came to Charlotte’s aid. But word travels fast between festival tents, and the legend of Poo Girl was swiftly born, setting the bar for festival fails at an all-time high.

2) ‘This isn’t the urinal, is it?’

Um, yes, yes it is.

This vom-inducing fail was caught on camera by an unsuspecting presenter doing a general piece about festival toilets. She watches in horror as a man comes out of the Portaloo, and starts to wash his hands in wee. Trust us, it has to be seen to be believed.

3) It’s getting hot in here

Last year, one reveller at Leeds Festival had a pretty awful wake up call when he discovered the tent next to him was ON FIRE.

Rather than work out how to take their cheap pop-up tents down and pack them up, the festival-goers decided, “Hey, it’d just be quicker to burn them all!” and set fire to their tents before leaving. Not cool.

4) The rubbish man

It can be hard to find a trash can at a festival, but rather than just throw their used cups and half-eaten food anywhere, these good samaritans at Download Festival piled it up neatly… on top of a really drunk man. He didn’t move the whole time, so either he didn’t mind or he was totally unconscious and could probably do with the extra warmth.

5) Drunk man vs. flip flop

Sometimes, when you’ve drunk your whole bodyweight in beer, and lost all of your friends, the biggest challenge you face is keeping your flip flops on.

This poor dude at Coachella was stuck in an extraordinary battle between man and shoe. Who wins? Watch and see…

6) Dance like everyone’s watching

Are they high? Are they just happy? Is this how they dance in their local club every Saturday? So many festival-goers just want to get merry and throw some shapes to their fave tunes. Unfortunately, they get caught on film and now their eccentric moves are immortalised forever on the internet.

If you’re in the market for a new signature move, why not try using an umbrella as a prop, like this woman?

7) Drunk in mud

Mud and festivals go hand in hand. Which is why we’re usually prepared with boots and clothes we don’t mind getting ruined.

However, there’s a few simple rules you can follow to avoid getting unnecessarily dirty.

1 - Don’t get involved in a drunken mud wrestle.

2 - Don’t get drunk and do the worm.

image

3 - Don’t get drunk, then use mud to belly slide between a peeing girl’s legs. This is wrong on so many levels.

Now we’ve covered the basics on not destroying your reputation mid-festival, enjoy your weekend at Creamfields. If you’re not going, watch our FREE and EXCLUSIVE live stream here!

image