Get it right together – how parents can help pick the right university

What to study and where is the first big decision that many young people have to make in their lives. It’s a choice that could shape their future career prospects, their friendship groups and their interests, so naturally they turn to their parents for advice.

Luckily, there is plenty of information for parents who want to support their children. So where to start? The course is number one. “My advice would be to encourage students to do what they love,” says computer science student Norah Lovelock, who chose the “wrong” subject and will swap to English literature next year. “They can always do other things to enhance their career prospects, such as volunteering or gaining work experience.”

Parents can help by teasing out what their sons or daughters really enjoy and even act as an antidote to teachers who are so passionate about their subject that they want all their star students to choose it. There are over 50,000 courses, covering a far broader scope than A-level subjects, but many students find out about them too late. Even within a subject there can be enormous variations between universities, says psychology student Jan Feeley, 19, who has just completed the first year of his degree at the University of Southampton. “I am the academic representative for my course and take feedback from students. One thing I have found is that a lot of people didn’t really look at what the course includes. It’s very important to research the individual modules,” he says.

Choosing a course that best suits a student’s interests helps with the personal statement on the application form, which is a chance for them to “sell” themselves. It has to be in their own words and not those of a parent or teacher, but it’s important to look at the guidance from Ucas and individual universities about what they like and what they don’t like to see in it.

Open days are an opportunity for students to get a feel for a place and find out more about the course, accommodation and surrounding area. “One thing I think people should definitely do is go online and get an idea of which halls they would be interested in before they arrive – and then visit them, because there are very different locations and buildings,” says Finn Hambly, a first-year student of natural sciences at the University of York.

“I went to lots of open days. My parents didn’t try and push me in one direction or another. To be honest, at times I wished they would just tell me what to do, but they asked questions and left the decision to me. In the end, I chose a brand new course,” says Hambly, from East Sussex.

His mother, Frances, found the open days fascinating. “I tended to look at everything with a critical eye but try not to say anything,” she says. “I went to one university and I really, really didn’t like it, but I just bit my lip because you try not to impart your feelings. Luckily, Finn didn’t think it was right for him. He told me his thoughts and I agreed.”

Once the decision is made and the packing starts, there’s an equally big role for parents. Small things, such as a plug extension lead or soft pillows, can make the transition easier – and a refresher course on food hygiene, cooking and laundry is invaluable.

Of course, it can be a traumatic when your child leaves home, but the good thing about university is that it is a half-way house – halls are well regulated and there are staff on hand to help and advise the students. And it won’t be long before they are back for Christmas, more grown up and, usually, more appreciative of you and home comforts.

Big steps – preparing your child for university

• Reassure them they will have a great time but that you are only a text or phone call away if they get homesick.
  

• Prepare a “university” kit of things they will find useful and help them choose nice things to personalise their room.
  

• Check the household insurance to see if they are covered. If not, think about mobile phone and laptop insurance.
  

• A quick course or refresher on food hygiene, cooking and laundry will definitely come in handy – plus advice on setting and keeping to a budget.
  

• Talk about the difference between school and university. Lectures are just one small part of a degree – they will need to do independent study and plan their workload.