Tony Bennett's Daughters Say Grief 'Bubbles Up in Weird Ways' 1 Year After His Death (Exclusive)

The late singer’s daughters Antonia and Johanna share fond memories of their dad with PEOPLE

When summer comes around each year, Tony Bennett's daughters Antonia and Johanna are flooded with childhood memories of time spent with their father on Cape Cod in Massachusetts.

"We would go year after year, and [we would stay at] the same hotel across from the Cape Cod Melody Tent," Antonia, 50, tells PEOPLE of their trips with Tony, who died at age 96 on July 21, 2023.

"He used to play there with his trio or quartet, and also sometimes with the big band,” Antonia, who is a singer-songwriter. adds. ”And then a lot of times we would be there, and somebody great would be playing the night before. It was always a really meaningful time for me."

Johanna, 54, says the time spent with her dad there was "amazing."

"At the Cape Cod Melody Tent, they always treated the artists that were playing and their families really, really well," she says. "They would make these big dinners at 3 or 4 p.m. for all the musicians. It was an amazing experience, and one that you would go back to year after year."

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This summer will be different for Antonia and Johanna, a film and live events producer, as Sunday, July 21, marks one year since Tony's death.

“We have a loose plan to maybe drive out to the cemetery [on the anniversary]," Johanna says, as Antonia adds that they might go "to some of the places he liked to go" — namely New York City's Il Mulino, Arturo's and the Blue Note Jazz Club.

In the days leading up to the anniversary, Johanna says she's been "really looking back and trying to understand what my grief process has been" through this past year.

"For me, I don't really feel like I've had the time to actually grieve," she says. "You have this idea of everything stops, and you're allowed to go cry somewhere or something like that for days or months or something. Everything seemed to speed up for me. I just feel like I had to put everything aside, and then every once in a while, it would slam me in the face."

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Antonia says she had a "similar" experience when Tony passed in that she "got really busy."

"Sometimes you put yourself on autopilot because you feel like you need to put one foot in front of the other," she says. "People have told me in the past that it is difficult because after the first year, people stop asking you if you're OK or how you're doing or whatever, but that's actually the first moment in which you really start to feel it."

"It waxes and wanes and it comes like a roll of [waves]," she continues. "It's complicated, I guess. It's been complicated for me to just allow myself to feel everything. Sometimes things come up and you're in social situations, you really don't want to be having those types of feelings because it feels too vulnerable out in public all the time to be doing that."

Johanna recalls a time she was struck with grief during one of her first social outings after Tony's passing.

"Everyone was like, 'Oh, nice to see you. I haven't seen you in a while,' and just being normal," she says. "Then there was one person that it hit them that it was the first time that they'd seen me since dad had passed. All of a sudden, this look of shock and concern comes over this one person's face and was like, 'Are you OK?' I was like, 'Well, I was until right now!' ”

“It bubbles up in weird ways,” Johanna adds. “I happen to live in New York in the neighborhood that he lived in for many years, so it's a weird reminder sometimes."

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As for what they miss most about their father, Johanna says it's his "sarcastic sense of humor."

For Antonia, who will be touring through the summer and into the fall, it's his phone calls.

"We used to talk pretty often, and that quieted down as he got older, but he was still calling on a regular basis up until the very end," she says. "I just miss hearing his voice. He would always be so gregarious when he would say my name. He would always say it so playfully and prominently. I can still hear it."

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