Trump’s ‘Dictator Blood’ Is Keeping Him Alive, Trevor Noah Jokes After President’s Physical Results Revealed

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Trump’s ‘Dictator Blood’ Is Keeping Him Alive, Trevor Noah Jokes After President’s Physical Results Revealed

The Daily Show host Trevor Noah has a theory about how President Donald Trump's annual physical results showed almost no health problems: dictator blood.

At an extended press conference Tuesday, White House physician, Dr. Ronny Jackson announced the results of the presidential check-up and answered questions from reporters. In general, Jackson found Trump was in good health.

On The Daily Show that night, Noah launched into a monologue about the physical examination and joked that maybe we were all wrong about Trump's personal doctor, Dr. Harold Bornstein. Bornstein was ridiculed online in 2015 when he made seemingly outrageous claims about the then-candidate's health. 

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"You guys remember how during the presidential campaign Donald Trump’s personal doctor—and secondhand speed-boat salesman—declared that Trump would be the healthiest individual every elected president?" Noah said. "And we all laughed so hard because in 2015 'healthiest individual' and 'elected president' both seemed incredibly unlikely ways to describe Donald Trump? Well, Trump has just had his first physical examination by the official White House Navy doctor and, uh, it looks like we owe Dr. Speedboat an apology."


Noah listed off the results from Jackson's physical: "No heart problems, no dementia, no dentures. But did you test for racism?" The host also cracked it was more worrying that Trump did some of the things he does—like tweet the word "covfefe"—while apparently of completely sound mind.

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But he was also taken aback by a joke Jackson made, telling the president he could have lived to 200 years old if his diet had been better over the past two decades. “My, God! If you think Trump is racist now at 71, imagine how racist he’ll be at 200," Noah exclaimed. 

At that point, the South Africa native offered his explanation for Trump's good health.

"Look to be honest, I’m not really surprised," Noah said. "Donald Trump has dictator blood. We’re used to this in Africa and other places in the world. Castro, Mugabi, the queen—we’re all shocked at how long they live. Like after the nuclear apocalypse, Trump is going to be the only one walking around, giving speeches to cockroaches. ‘Folks, we’re gonna build a roach motel. Who’s going to pay for it? Mosquitos.’"

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While Trump's physical did generally show he was in good health, Jackson admitted that the president was overweight and needed to lose 10-15 pounds through a better diet and exercise. 

So who's going to be the one to hide Trump's supply of McDonald's, Starburst and Diet Coke?

This article was first written by Newsweek

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