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UK Budget 2017: Philip Hammond cracks jokes as Chancellor's 'Budget banter' is hailed

Philip Hammond and Theresa May cracked a joke about cough sweets in today’s Budget in one of many staged gags aimed to lighten up the Commons speech.

The House of Commons erupted into laughs and cheers after the Chancellor told MPs: “I did take the precaution of asking my Right Honourable friend to bring a packet of cough sweets just in case.”

It was in reference to the PM's Tory party conference speech last month which was repeatedly interrupted by her coughing fit.

Today Mrs May waved a packet of throat sweets from the frontbench as MPs roared with laughter.

It was one of many jokes made by Philip Hammond – nicknamed “Spreadsheet Phil” for his perceived seriousness - in his first Budget speech since June’s disastrous General Election defeat which saw the Tories’ majority slashed.

Here are some of his top gags:

Theresa May waved her cough sweets. (PA)
Theresa May waved her cough sweets. (PA)

Alcohol

He began by jokingly telling the House he had refused the alcoholic drink usually allowed to the Chancellor on Budget Day, instead opting for plain water.

He later cracked another joke about alcohol. After announcing that duty was rising on white cider but other alcoholic drinks would stay the same, Mr Hammond quipped: “Merry Christmas, Mr Deputy Speaker.”

Jeremy Clarkson

He also poked fun at ex-Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson.

Talking about driverless cars, Mr Hammond said: “I know that Jeremy Clarkson doesn’t like them, but there are many other good reasons to pursue this technology.”

His joke was met with loud laughs in the chamner.

The chancellor went on: “So today we step up our support for it. I’m sorry Jeremy, but definitely not the first time you’ve been snubbed by Hammond and May.”

'Economicky words'

Mr Hammond also made a jibe at environment secretary Michael Gove, following reports last week that an unnamed cabinet minister had complained Mr Gove was using “long economicky words” at meetings with the PM to “audition” to be the next chancellor.

'Budget banter': Hammond at the despatch box. (PA)
'Budget banter': Hammond at the despatch box. (PA)

The chancellor told the House on Wednesday “this is the bit with the long economicky words in it” before presenting the growth forecasts.

Maths

Announcing that schools will get £600 in extra cash for every A level maths student, Mr Hammond told MPs there would be “more maths for everyone”, adding: “Don’t say I don’t know how to show the nation a good time.”

I'm a Celebrity

The second of the chancellor's two TV-themed jokes to the Commons was about ITV reality show I'm A Celebrity.

Mr Hammond appeared to be enjoying making the House erupt into laughter. (PA)
Mr Hammond appeared to be enjoying making the House erupt into laughter. (PA)

Making a dig at Labour, Mr Hammond said: “If they carry on like that there will be plenty of others joining Kezia Dugdale in saying, ‘I’m Labour, get me out of here’.”

The Chancellor appeared to be enjoying making Parliament laugh, managing to rack up a good number of quips during his time at the despatch box.

Many members of the public also seemed to be entertained by Mr Hammond’s attempt at banter.

Social media users began using the #BudgetBantz hashtag as people praised the frontbencher for his “classic puns”.

“Spreadsheet Phil is a joker,” wrote Lizzy Woodfield, while others said he was “delivering the Budget like a stand-up”.

Others were far less impressed.

“Hammond’s jokes were a bit better than his budget – no real laugh out loud funny lines though,” one internet user said.

David Beckett said on Twitter: “An important tip about doing a presentation is ‘if you’re not funny, don’t try to be.’

“Philip Hammond should definitely adhere to that advice.”