United Airlines get over yourself – there’s nothing classy about flying any more

Isn’t flying terrible? I hate it. Even as a short person I find the space far too cramped in most planes. All too often cabins smell of other people’s farts. So I try to block everything out by drinking a nice glass of wine before take-off.

But what if you’re a child and you can’t have wine? I reckon I’d wear leggings, or any other type of slouchy clothing. After all, they have the same effect: making you feel comfortable, calm and able to drift off, in an otherwise grim environment.

The trouble is, not every airline cares for “casual” clothing – even on teens. Yesterday, United Airlines told off two young girls for trying to wear leggings on one of its flight. Apparently these rascals had breached the company’s dress code for “United pass travellers”. This ticket, which the pair had used, provides a discount for employees of the airline and their dependents, so long as they appear “neat and professional”.

But with great discounts comes great responsibility, and it transpired that United Airlines’ standards for “neat and professional” are quite high. CNNMoney obtained the dress code rules, which bans tight lycra or spandex tops, pants and dresses.

It would seem to me that the company’s executives think we are still in the heyday of aviation, when what you wore really mattered. It’s hard to believe now in an age where it is cheaper to fly from London to Majorca, than it is to get the train from Euston to Liverpool, but when flying first became accessible in the 1940s, it was an extremely sophisticated pursuit, enjoyed by a privileged few.

Passengers would spend thousands of pounds to travel, splashing out equally big sums on beautiful outfits to parade on board. There they would be waited on by vast numbers of flight attendants, who would serve them anything from pâté de foie gras to ox tongue for lunch.

This halcyon era continued until the 1980s brought cheap commercial flights to the masses. Now, things have completely changed. In 2017, billions of us board miserable, small aircraft trying not to punch fellow passengers, thanks to easyJet, Ryanair and the rest of the low-cost airlines. Many of us now view it as a casual activity, as ubiquitous as jumping in the car.

But glamorous? United Airlines should not kid itself that that’s how people view flying any more. The “professional” dress code requirement suggests that flying has turned into some sort of networking event. But I suspect most people are too busy holding onto their seats, or monitoring the toilet’s vacancy sign, to care.

Dress codes are a lose-lose situation for everyone. Customers feel miserable, and the aviation industry continues to kid itself it’s still the 1940s. United Airlines needs to wake up: in 2017, people just want to get the whole thing over with as quickly as possible.

Leggings aren’t just a clothing item, they are a way to stay sane. United Airlines should let them on board.