The variable cost of justice
Lord chancellors are by tradition sworn in wearing a gold-embroidered “robe of state”, a court coat, waistcoat, breeches and wig. Everything apart from the robe is hired by the Ministry of Justice but, according to a Freedom of Information request, costs vary between different lord chancellors.
Former holders of the office are mystified when I tell them. Alex Chalk (hire bill £370) asks if it is “down to the number of fittings”? Brandon Lewis (a £739 bill) says: “I was never aware of the cost.” And David Gauke (whose hire cost £729) says he is “struggling” with an answer. David Lidington (a bill for £663) points out that “different lords chancellor need different sized robes: think Grayling and Truss”. Current Lord Chancellor Shabana Mahmood (£309) has kept costs down.
Teachers who can’t spell
The National Education Union – which represents school teachers – is staging a fringe meeting at the Lib Dems conference in Brighton next weekend, asking: “What should the Liberal Democrat’s priorities on education be for the new parliament?” Will any of the teachers notice the spelling error?
Magic sweetie tree
Jeremy Hunt left a note to his successor Rachel Reeves with the location of a confectionery vending machine, apparently telling Reeves it was the thing his children loved most about living in Downing Street. They even got their own cards to use it, Hunt told Reeves. “She couldn’t understand it, but it turns out to be true. Her kids love it,” one Treasury source said. Is it called the magic sweetie tree?
WHAP attack
Susie Cleverly, wife of Tory leadership contender James Cleverly, has taken back control of the WHAPs group at Westminster. It stands for “Wives, Husbands And Partners” and offers informal support for the other halves of the 121 remaining Tory MPs. Susie stood back from the WHAP front line while she fought cancer. All meetings are in person because she refuses to set up a WHAP WhatsApp group. “They just leak,” she tells me. Why can’t Susie run for Tory leader, too?
Gang of None
The retirement from the House of Lords of David Owen brings to a close the parliamentary career of the last of the Gang of Four, named after Owen and three other Labour moderates who jumped ship to set up the SDP in 1981. Roy Jenkins and Shirley Williams have both died and Bill Rodgers left the Lords last year. Owen’s last question in the Lords in April suggested he had more to give, with a proposal that the UK and France tell Russia where their nuclear weapons are pointed. The Gang of Four is now the Gang of None.
Wrong trousers
I have been overwhelmed by your tales of split trousers after my Lobby colleague’s trouser gusset was rent in twain on the PM’s trip to Berlin. George Buxton told how “my late brother in law, Professor Donald Thomas, once had to give a lecture to students at Cardiff University in his raincoat because of a malfunctioning zip fastener in his trousers”. Carol Rankin’s experience was worse – her underwear elastic failed. Carol told me: “In the middle of Waterloo station at rush hour my knickers fell to my feet. I picked them up, put them in my handbag and carried on as if nothing had happened.”
Lost in transit
Rev Richard Coles also got involved in the trouser tales. “In an hilarious turn of events, while I was carrying all my stuff in a tray to a counter at Glasgow Airport security, my trousers fell down and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it,” he said. I hope he caught his plane.
No! Sushi
Oasis’ Noel Gallagher tells the Table Manners podcast: “I’m not a foodie. I won’t go ‘Oh my God, that was an amazing piece of salmon!’ Food is still a function for me.” He prefers his mother’s home cooking over anything else. “I didn’t have sushi until I moved to London – I was like ‘What, raw fish on rice, what’s that all about? That looks like the inside of a bicycle tyre!’ It was like ‘No, it’s octopus.’” He’s on to something.
Quentin’s salad days
Political commentator Quentin Letts has inadvertently contributed to the shoplifting crime wave. He told GB News: “I pinched a lettuce by mistake the other day. I realised when I got to my car that I had neglected a lettuce at the bottom of my push trolley. I should have ‘fessed up, but it was inadvertent – I’d been at the till with a check-out person.”
No one tell Liz Truss.
Peterborough, published every Friday at 7pm, is edited by Christopher Hope. You can reach him at peterborough@telegraph.co.uk