If you’re not familiar with Wayne Lineker, allow us to introduce you.
He’s the multi-millionaire younger brother of former England footballer and now broadcaster Gary, who owns Ibiza’s Ocean Beach club and was behind the Lineker sports bar brand.
His name is always prefixed with ‘playboy’ in the tabloids.
But it seems Wayne is finally ready to settle down and is on a quest for love after he posted an ‘ad’ for a partner on Instagram on Tuesday and well, it really is quite something.
Wayne’s criteria for his new “wifey” includes having “body definition”, being able to cook and be “above 30 (Ok 28, 29 could work) but not my age as that would just look weird”.
In return he promises a world of world travel, Bentleys and use of his PA (who FYI, you should send your details to if you’re interested).
It’s fair to say that more than a few eyebrows were raised and eyeballs rolled over the 58-year-old grandad’s post…
Gary Lineker shit himself on the pitch at the World Cup in front of thousands in the stadium and probably millions watching around the world and Wayne Lineker is still the most embarrassing thing to happen to him
— Wes (@WessBwfcAgainnn) September 16, 2020
Wayne Lineker is a parody, right? It has to be. It's just Gary fucking about with some tippex, surely.
— Naughty Zippo (@NaughtyZippo) September 16, 2020
Blessed that I’ve woken up and I’m not Wayne Lineker 🙏🏻
— NickBarrett🌹 (@nickbarrettx) September 16, 2020
No baggage, free to travel at short notice, be able to blag your way into a nightclub, must like 'real crime'... People, Wayne Lineker isn't looking for a girlfriend, he's recruiting for a heist. pic.twitter.com/IUDARGZNmS
— 𝕁𝕠𝕖 𝕁𝕠𝕪𝕔𝕖 (@JosephBJoyce) September 16, 2020
Wayne Lineker trying to order a girlfriend like he’s in a restaurant
— Amy 🎀 (@AmmyDavis) September 16, 2020
But our favourite response came courtesy of comedian Joe Lycett who shared his own requirements in a parody post.
Joe’s criteria centered around eggs mainly. Well, not mainly, entirely. This is something we are very much on board with….
This isn’t the first time Joe has issued a response to a ridiculous celebrity PSA.
Back in March, at the start of lockdown, the comedian gathered his showbiz chums to record their very own version of John Lennon’s Imagine in response to Gal Gadot and her famous pals singing along to the classic, which went viral for all the wrong reasons.
This article originally appeared on HuffPost UK and has been updated.